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Date Posted: 17:18:18 11/06/01 Tue
Author: Tom
Author Host/IP: 152.163.207.202
Subject: My new favorite word

Okay, I'm finally getting around to writing something (been stalking for a while). I generally have been feeling a bit better lately since my "happy fun pills" kicked in, but I've been feeling really low this past week. I wouldn't bore anyone with the details of my hopeless pathetic life - I'm bored enough for everyone- but suffice it to say that many personal & professional failures kind of came to a head earlier this year and sent me into a tailspin. I could even describe the exact moment it hit. Although really it's had been coming on slowly for the past year or two. I've gone through periods of depression on & off since college. What is it about that sophomore year that gets everyone?:) But this time I really knew I had to get some help because I knew I wasn't going to make it (but I'm hanging in there somehow). My doc says its the anxiety that keeps me awake until 1am, and the depression that wakes me up at 5am (maybe it was the other way around but I guess it doesn't really matter). So I'm kind of in a daze all the time from being so tired. I'm pretty sure that I'm over the worst of it, but I am feeling really fragile - and I'd have to thank Susanna Kaysen for my new favorite word "Ambivalent". Obviously I have nothing better to do now than write essays since the World Series ended (grumble, grumble), and I guess that you don't have anything better to do than read them, but thanks anyway.

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