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Date Posted: 12:00:32 03/19/00 Sun
Author: JPadre
Subject: Re: Dedicated to the Grocery Baggers Acrossed America
In reply to: jc (chairman for lookin out for the little people) 's message, "Dedicated to the Grocery Baggers Acrossed America" on 00:48:34 03/17/00 Fri

I would just like to say, that I'm honored to recieve this award for bagger of the millenium, or whatever the hell it is. I'd like to thank all the little people... errr.. wait, there is no one below me, well maybe the janitors, but since they're illegals I don't think they count. And for the record, I'm not 6'4, 180 lbs... that's just disgusting... try adding 40 lbs. and you'll be right on. Well, I used to be 180, but I get lots of tips for my excellent service, and I like to spend that money on Chee-tos and Hostess Cupcakes.
I'd like to thank my mom and dad for... well, nothing actually, anyway I'm not going to thank the Lord for this award, because I find it hard to believe that he "granted" me the ability to bag groceries fast enough to get on Letterman. I'd also like to say that I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the Awards Show, and you're probably wondering why I'm accepting this award via satellite from my home as I sit in a wheelchair. In the parking lot the other day, I saved little Timmy's life, but unfortunately I got hit by a Buick. That's right, I said a Buick. In a strange twist, i actually pushed Timmy to safety, where he was hit by a Winnebago... ouch. As for my return to MLB, I didn't think anyone noticed I was gone. When does baseball season start??

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