I will be expecting the royalties for this very soon... -- The U2 Forum

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Date Posted: 14:15:39 04/18/00 Tue
Author: Disposable Heroine
Subject: I will be expecting the royalties for this very soon...

Preliminary note: this is the third episode of a series, so you may not be up-to-date with the characters. They're pretty obvious and they don't need that much explaining though, you should get the jist. Enjoy!

The Amazing Adventures of Mystical Javelin Jess & Electric Kamikaze Kylie
featuring U2
written by Mystical Javelin Jess

Episode III - Irish Spice

Scene I

Bono ascends the stairs leading down to the basement of his Clarence hotel. Smoke swirls seductively around him, and the fragrance of expensive cologne lingers in the air. Around him, masses of party-goers mingle, weaving through each other in a constant, never-ending stream of conversation and laughter. Beautiful women in ooh-la-la dresses, feather boas and beaded clutch bags are draped around jaw-droppingly rich men in designers suits with industrial-sized cigars dangling from their mouths. Bono smiles to himself at the shallow, materialistic, sleazy environment which he has created in this, his own underground nightclub The Kitchen. He spots his bass-playing bud Adam Clayton in one corner and paws his way through the crowd towards where he stands, leaning against the bar with a tia maria in one hand. Bono recognises the tune playing as Do You Feel Loved - the heavy bass line vibrates off the walls and right through the pint-sized singer. The mirrorball lights flicker off his red silk shirt. Adam spies his pal and greets him enthusiastically.

Adam: "Bono! What in the world are you doing here? Let me buy you a drink!"

Despite the fact that Bono can actually get his drinks free here, this being his club and all, Bono lets Adam order him a whisky. He takes a liberal gulp and surveys the area.

Bono: "So where's the rest of the gang?"
Adam: "Someone knocked into Edge with a tray of cocktails and he's presently in the gents trying to get the stains off his trousers. Larry got mauled by a load of fans and I haven't seen him for about half an hour."
Bono: "Hmm. Love the tiara, by the way."
Adam: "Really? Why, thank you." Adam grins and raises a hand to his glistening head gear. "Real rubies, y'know."

Bono looks impressed. At this moment, Larry bursts on to the scene, nearly falling right over Bono's feet in the process. On picking himself up, he breathlessly relays the details of the past half hour to the other two. They do not hear him, as they're trying to catch the attention of a couple of attractive young women over on the dance floor. Agitated, Larry grabs them by their shoulders and spins them round.

Larry: "Did you hear a word of what I just said to you?"
Bono: "Um... something about bikes?"
Larry: (rolling his eyes) "The heroines are in the loos! They want to speak with us urgently about a new case!"

Bono and Adam glance at each other with wide eyes.

Bono: "What are we waiting for? The heroines are back! Let's go! Oh, by the way, does my hair look alright?"

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Replies:

Ahem, where's the continuation of MY saga? -- Aea, 15:22:05 04/18/00 Tue