2 idiot stories -- The Mad Wee Wee

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Date Posted: 09:07:29 11/29/01 Thu
Author: Jade
Subject: 2 idiot stories

-Idiot Story-

A Mexican jail warden fell to his death while spying on couples during
their conjugal visits, crashing down next to a Nicaraguan prisoner and
his wife having sex, local media reported on Tuesday.

Raul Zarate Diaz, prison warden in Tapachula, on Mexico's southern
border with Guatemala, fell 23 feet (7 metres) to his death after
tripping on a skylight looking over the conjugal visits section, La
Cronica newspaper and InfoRed radio said.

The warden had with him binoculars and a pornographic magazine, La
Cronica said, citing local law enforcement sources.

An official answering the phone at the prison told Reuters on Tuesday
that police were investigating but refused to provide further details.

The prisoner who was interrupted attempted to start a riot, but the
intent was squelched by prison security, the newspaper said.
***
-Idiot Story-

A Toronto man is suing Starbucks Corp. for $2.2 million after a faulty
restaurant toilet seat allegedly crushed his penis during a romantic
weekend getaway.

"It's a terrible thing that happened," said Sherrie Skwarek, wife of
Edward Skwarek, both 37.

"It was supposed to be a romantic holiday."

Skwarek's lawyer, Richard Robbins, confirmed in New York yesterday they
had filed a lawsuit in Manhattan Supreme Court last Friday against the
coffee giant.

"Our client, Edward Skwarek, was in a seated position on the toilet when
he turned to retrieve the toilet paper in back of the seat when the seat
shifted causing his penis to be caught and crushed between the seat and
the bowl," said Robbins.

The suit alleges the coffee house was careless in "allowing a defective
toilet seat to remain open ... causing a hazardous and unsafe condition
.. in its public restrooms."

Skwarek, a government financial worker, claimed that the incident took
place on Aug. 20, 1999, at a Starbucks in the Chelsea district of
Manhattan where he and his wife Sherrie dropped in for some coffee.

Answering the couple's door last night, Sherrie said their lawyer
advised them not to comment on the matter. Her husband remained in a
back area of the Bathurst St.-St.Clair Ave. area home as Sherrie spoke
to a Toronto Sun reporter and photographer on the stoop, describing the
incident as traumatic and embarrassing for both of them.

The suit claims that as a result of Starbucks' carelessness, Skwarek
suffered a "crushed penis, Peyronie's disease, retrograde ejaculation
with consequent substantial reduction in sperm count, infertility,
severe bruising to his penis and sexual function impairment."

Peyronie's disease usually causes deviation of the erect penis to one
side.

Skwarek seeks $1.45 million in damages and his wife $750,000 Cdn because
she has been "deprived of his services."

Alan Gulick, a spokesman at Starbucks in Seattle, where the company is
based, said Starbucks does not comment on pending litigation.

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Replies:

I rented a place to the Starbucks couple for four years!! -- Fred, 04:53:22 04/28/15 Tue