VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12[3]4 ]


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 12:09:13 10/17/01 Wed
Author: Jade
Subject: jokes,jokes and more jokes


There were these friends who played golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the guy and said, "Sure."

So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the guy did for a living. So they asked him. The stranger told them he was a hit man. The friends all laughed.

The guy said, "No really, I'm a hit man. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you'd like."

So one of the friends decided to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure enough, there was a rifle with a huge scope attached it. He got all excited and said, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?" The hit man replied, "Sure."

So the guy looked for a second and said, "YEAH! I can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. Isn't she beautiful? WAIT! There's my next-door neighbor! And he's naked too!"

This really upset the guy, so he asked the hit man how much it would be for a hit. The hit man replied, "I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger."

The guy responded, "One thousand dollars? Well, okay. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife."

The hit man agreed. He geared up and looked through the scope. He was looking for about five minutes until finally the man started to get really impatient and asked, "What are you waiting for?"

The hit man replied, "Just hold on ... I'm a about to save you a thousand bucks!"



* * *



Why did the blond girl buy two owls?

-She heard that guys like a girl with a huge pair of hooters.



* * *



1.Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out.

2. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted.

3. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, for I shall smite them immediately with a hasty click and read them not.

4. Thou shalt use no browser other than Internet Explorer, for thy Gates is a jealous Gates.

5. Thou shalt not forward chain letters. Instead, send these commandments to ten friends, and help save the life of a small child in Bogota!

6. Thou shalt not act like a hot 18-year chick in a chat room when thou art a pudgy, pimply faced Trekkie.

7. Spam not, lest ye be spammed tenfold.

8. Thou shalt not spill your kinky guts and then click "Reply to all."

9. Thou shall not call thyself "Richard P. Smith" online when "Chesty LaRue" sounds so much better.

10. Remember thou the Neimann-Marcus cookie recipe and keep it holy.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]


Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.