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Date Posted: 07:07:36 05/08/02 Wed
Author: Junobear
Author Host/IP: 216-220-250-121.midmaine.com / 216.220.250.121
Subject: Terry tried shooting the interferon into his computer but it was hard to get the needle through the plastic....
In reply to: terry 's message, "What....a....day. Virus (actually - Worm) update...PLEASE READ!" on 20:52:32 05/06/02 Mon

Something had to be done -- the hard drive was stage III bridging fibrosis and internet links were loading slow. Searching the help files of Norton Anti-Virus, no listings were found for 'mother board fog' or 'memory fatigue,' but the machine was obviously starting to be symptomatic.

Terry remembered cutting himself making dinner and bleeding on the keyboard. Guilt coursed through his soul as he realized he may have transmitted the virus to his beloved Dell.

Fortunately, Dell was already seeing a specialist, Dr. McTooshic, who diagnosed the problem as HCV [Hepatitis Computer Virus] and recommended treatment. But first, the unfortunate machine was forced to be biopsied.

Dr. McTooshic laid Dell on her side and attempted to reassure her. "It won't hurt a bit. Versed is not necessary. A little shot of Novacaine and its all over in an instant." Dr. McTooshic approached the machine with a large instrument resembling a cross between a gun and an ice pick, "Somebody bled on her keyboard. Yah, right. She's an IV drug user for sure about to pay the wages of her sin..." With an evil grin, Dr. McTooshic shoved the instrument deep into the hard drive. The sound card was definitely working. Dell squealed and cursed, emitting 'Jungle Sounds...'

Dr. McTooshic explained that several treatment options were available -- PC-cillin and several versions of Norton. Because Dell's version of the virus was 1b and many files appeared to be infected, state of the art treatment by Norton was necessary. Norton 'Commitment to Care' agreed to help with treatment costs allowing Dell access to download its newest pegylated program.

The first scan was rough. Dell's temperature rose and she shook and shivered and what was left of her memory suffered a pounder, but Dr. McTooshic refused to allow access to download the Vicodin plugin. By the third scan, the experience seemed a bit more bearable and soon, the hard drive was undetected...

Dell crawled across the finish line celebrating the last and final scan. We will know in six months if she's a sustained responder.

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Replies:

[> [> OMG, that was really good!!!! -- Cat, 09:02:49 05/08/02 Wed (NoHost/156.63.134.4)


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[> [> hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa... -- teegz, 13:55:13 05/08/02 Wed (px248.sunh.com/12.96.202.248)

you are a wiz with words Juno, really good.

Susan


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[> [> Re: Terry tried shooting the interferon into his computer but it was hard to get the needle through the plastic.... -- Karren, 17:37:53 05/08/02 Wed (HubX-mcr-24-95-111-59.midsouth.rr.com/24.95.111.59)

(((JunoBear)))! Now that is hilarious!


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[> [> Too too funny!!!!! ((((((Juno)))))))) -- Dr. McTooshnick, 15:47:33 05/09/02 Thu (dhcp024-209-033-060.neo.rr.com/24.209.33.60)


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