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Date Posted: 10:17:02 08/02/00 Wed
Author: oyster
Subject: Fucking...

As Brain hinted, there is a correlation between fucking and intelligence. If you're intelligent, you will fuck. Maybe you'll even fuck a human. You'll fuck often. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that's all that'll happen if you're intelligent. Because if you don't fuck, you can't be intelligent.

And most people don't know this about fucking, but it makes you taller. It's true! You grow taller every time. That's how basketball players get so tall. And fucking benefits basketball players in another way: it increases your coordination, so you can hit every shot. Just look at Wilt Chamberlain!

And it makes you faster. Runners shouldn't be abstaining before a race, just the opposite! They can run at near the speed of light right afterwards, so they should screw before starting a race. Then they'd win nearly instantly.

And it makes you smarter too. Your intelligence goes up during every second of sex. You gain IQ with every thrust. Yes, you will grow brain cells. And your brain will grasp reality without any attempt on your part. Yes, you will become enlightened.

And you won't need to eat anymore. Your body will be able to move without having to ingest things. And you won't have to sleep! And your life will become a constant orgasm! It'll become physically, emotionally, and spiritually happy!

Another thing people don't know about sex... it gives you SUPERPOWERS! You become indestructible, invisible, all-knowing, and all-seeing. You can fly. Tou can shoot fireballs out of your nose and lightning out of your genitalia. You can stick to walls. You can lift anything.

And the best thing... you will NEVER age, and NEVER die! Not even being tossed onto the sun will harm you. You'll be better off than Superman himself! You'll not only be indestructible, you'll know everything, you'll be happy, and you'll be able to do just about anything!

So go fuck! Fuck early, and fuck often. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!

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