Re: Hope (Untitled) - Chapter 4 -- Data Retrieval and Verification

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ]

Subject: Re: Hope (Untitled) - Chapter 4

Author:
Nestra

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 19:58:42 07/22/03 Tue
In reply to: Athena4 's message, "Hope (Untitled) - Chapter 4" on 18:27:01 07/20/03 Sun

Seated on the edge of the cot opposite, she watched him sleep; the rise and fall of his chest steady beneath the blanket.

Semi-colon should be a comma.

Doing that, she stood, walking to the curtained partition and pulling it aside.

I take it no one else heard them having sex last night? ;-)

�No,� Chris replied, the smile turning to a smirk. �Just Natasha � and I think she�s faking �cause she was losing at cards.�

Chris faked it well,

Two "fakings" in a row.

tucking it into the waist band of her pants.

waistband is one word, I think.

Turning down out one

down or out, not both. ;-)

�It�s our only chance. And besides,� she smiled, placing the Queen of Hearts face-up on the table in front of Egran. �I have a trump card.�

Heh. Nice visual.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> Subject: beta stuff
Author: jean [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 07:28:11 07/23/03 Wed The young men sat at the table in the centre, a frayed deck of cards and a pile of cashews between them. I love the small details here. Lovely. ...she entered, pulling a chair up the table, and glancing quickly at Ben�s hand. no comma after table And what Dana said about the nice visual. Queen of Hearts. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]