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Date Posted: 08:26:32 02/05/00 Sat
Author: Jake Blade
Subject: IcE, White Devil, Hardcore Jay, Masked Man, and Road Dogg READ! Also concerns Battle Royal



[The scene opens in a jam-packed HWF arena. The crowd is on their feet with their signs saying "Jake Blade RULEZ!" or "The New World DisOrder" All of a sudden, an image pops up on the HWF Tron. It is the image of Jake Blade and Tanya walking into the locker room from the outside. Jake Blade is wearing a black shirt and some black baggy pants. Tanya is wearing a grey, heavily frilled vest... with NO BRA! The crowd POPS! Jake looks into the camera and motions for the camera man to follow him. He walks into the halls of the arena with the camera man and into a door marked "Jake Blade". He goes in and goes straight toward the fridge. He opens the refridgerator door and takes a beer out of it. He pops it open and sits down on a nice, white leather couch. He glares into the camera and starts to cut a promo.]

Jake Blade:
I have a couple things lingering in my mind so I think I'll cut a promo now. First subject: IcE. IcE, the time has approached and it is now the eve of our match. I've been coming out almost everyday and talking about you, trying to get you to come out and talk but you never did. And now, as our match approaches at Redemption '00, you have no chance of making any kind of comeback. You can't beat me in the ring, and you definitely can't beat me on the mic! And then the cards just keep getting stacked my way as it's a Hell in a Cell. How convienient. My first match in the HWF will be a win. But we already knew that. And my first win in the HWF will be in a Hell in a Cell match. When you saw that video I showed yesterday, I'm sure you just about pissed your pants. You saw me dismantle that so-called "champion" limb from damn limb. So when your theme music hits and you have to walk down that aisle with all of the Jake Blade fans screaming my name. I want that video to be playing in your head. And I want that video to be playing in your head as the bell rings, and as I preceed to pound the living PISS out of you inside, outside, on top of, and around that damn cell!!!! *crowd pops* Now, most would ask why I would have picked you as an opponent. Well, the answer is simple. I don't like IcE, I've never liked him. He comes back, making a "triumphant" return. But from what I've seen so far, your return hasn't been more than a cheap trick to come back and get some un-needed publicity. And you took away the publicity from ME. I was supposed to come in here and absolutely take over the ranks of the HWF, but you had to come back. So, here's the thing. Basically this match is just a test for me. I want to see if I can pound the living snot out of a former, hence FORMER, contender in the HWF. If I can, I'm going to be a huge success. If I lose. Well, I'll probably have to hang myself. I don't think it's possible for a man like me to lose to a... man.. I guess, like you IcE. I can never lose to a low-carder like you. NEVER! I never have, never will. I consider you way down in the ranks, along with... White Devil. And that's bad. He's my next subject I wanna speak on.

[Jake clears his throat and takes a big swig of his beer. He brings it down from his mouth and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. He continues to talk...]

Jake Blade:
Now, speaking of White Devil. I have a few things to say about this guy. When I was in the process of scoping out talent, I just kind of went right by you Whitey. You know why? Because you SUCK! *crowd pops* And Mark Dunn made some really good remarks about you. He shined some light on why I should hate you even more. He pointed out you have been in this fed for three months and had a title for two days. *breaks up laughing* I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's just really funny! You get a title... *laughs*... and then lose it! AFTER TWO DAYS!!!!! *laughs uncontrollably* Oh man. That is some funny sh*t. You have, I guess, the worst record in the HWF and have won one title and lost it in two days. And then you talked about the NWD like you were somebody. You have to BE somebody to cut a promo about the NWD. I think we showed you who the real big time sh*ts are in the HWF on Thursday after we jumped you and pounded the living crap out of you. Then you may have learned that you can't talk stuff about anybody without backing it up. White Devil, you are a classic example of a loser in a big time federation. You remind me of the Brooklyn Brawler. He sucked, as do you. But I guess you accomplished something more than the Brawler. You had a title reign!!! Oh wait, can we really call it a reign? I mean, you only had it for two days! Jeez, that is still really really funny. And then you thought you were pretty damn big by coming out in that facepaint of yours. It looks like you just shoved your face in a chocolate/whip cream pie. And it makes you looks even stupider when you try and talk hard with all of that crap on. So, when you do come back and cut a promo, I want the answer to this question to be in it: We're going to have a match, what day?????

[The crowd pops as they listen intently to every word that Blade says. Jake takes another drink of beer and keeps speaking.]

Jake Blade:
And now, onto Hardcore Jay. Jay, I would like to congradulate your brother on winning that title, but I just want to warn you that you can't dwell on your brother's success. You have to turn right around and fight in that ring, like your brother does. And nor can you take platform off of your brother's success. Just because he is finally a World Champion doesn't mean that your up to that caliber. I still feel that you are a half-way decent competitor. But, Jay, you have one thing standing in your way to being a great comptetitor. And that is me. My job is to beat your ass in that cell to bring you back down to reality. I hope you watched that video that I showed yesterday. I hope you watched ever second of that video and got the point that I was trying to send across. I cannot be beat. And I definitely cannot be beat inside that Hell in a Cell!!!! You just may be my toughest match yet, Jay. I mean, I have my match with the old timer IcE. That's no sweat. So then I take a look at Monday's linee-up, and I see our names written down with a little "vs." in the middle of them. And at the way end of it, it says Hell in a Cell. Isn't that special?? You're my second victim in the HWF, and my second victim in the Hell in a Cell match... in the HWF. And come Monday, I am guaranteeing a vicotry for Jake Blade. But nothing can be one hundred percent sure. I mean, my success probability will be ummm... probably 99.9 percent. Hey! You still have a .1 percent chance of victory! That's not much, but what can you expect from facing a main-event caliber wrestler like me, the Millennium Man, JAKE BLADE!

[The crowd gives a half decent pop as Jake finishes his beer. He gets up and goes to the fridge. He gets another and pops it open. Then he sits right back down on the couch and keeps speaking.]

Jake Blade:
Now, Road Dogg. I want to say a few words about your ass. Road Dogg, you lousy piece of white trash. Why haven't you been back with your little butt buddy Jeff Matthews or whatever the hell his name is. But it doesn't really matter because once we tie up in the squared circle, and we WILL, I will come out the victor and you the loser. Road Dogg, you may have been a little offended by the words I layed on the table last night and that's why you haven't come back. Or maybe it's because you have so many people in the HWF gunning for your head. Why are they you ask? Because you suck and we don't like unoriginal bastards in the HWF. That offends me, as well as others when you can't think of anything original to do so you just do the same thing over and over again. I get sick of it, other people get sick of it, and I know for a fact that the CROWD gets sick of it. *half of the crowd pops* One of these days Road Dogg, we're going to step into the ring and stand toe to toe. That bell will ring and I will make you suffer like none other. There might actually be a time where I let you beat on me for a little while. Because I don't like controlling the WHOLE match. I like letting my fans see that I can take punishment as well as dish it out. And after all is said and done I will stand victorious over your fallen body. Why?!? Because I'm a cut above the rest!!!!

[The crowd pops. Jake takes another sip of his beer and then hands it to Tanya. Tanya takes it but doesn't drink out of it. Jake turns toward the camera and keeps talking.]

Jake Blade:
Now, onto the Masked Man. I haven't seen your face and I already hate you. Your too cocky and I'm guessing by the way you present yourself you have no skills in the ring. You also say that your goal is to become the Heavyweight Champion. *chuckles* Yeah, sure. You, a sucky wrestler, become the HWF World Champion? Dream on. You don't have anything going for you, no mic skills, no wrestling skills. And you have tons going wrong for you. TERRIBLE mic skills, TERRIBLE wrestling skills, and the NWD hates you. We already sent Overkill at your punk ass to take you out and he did it. And then you whined that we did. Stop acting like a child. Why don't you CHALLENGE him to a match?!? Unless... your too much of a p*ss to. Yeah, it's probably the second one. Now, maybe the ONE thing you have going for you is being with the prez as his personal body gaurd. I personally hate the prez, and anyone who has to do with him. Me and some of the NWD attacked him and Commish Extreme last Monday and I'm pretty sure they didn't enjoy it. We showed them who's boss, didn't we? But then you talk about how you've got what it takes to win the Battle Royal. NO! You don't! I'm the one who has what it takes and I'm the one who's going to win it. Your NOT the Chosen One. No one here can be the chosen one except for me. And I'm not going to branch off of that generic gimmick like you so un-wisely chose to do, I'm going to just flat out pound your ass in that Battle Royal!! I'm already in it! And soon, I will be the last one in that ring. THE LAST ONE! You'll be on the outside, so will every other moron who thinks they can step through those ropes with the Millennium Man in the ring and not get knocked out. It just won't happen. So, Masked Man. I'll be waiting for YOU at the Battle Royal!!!

[The crowd pops as Jake takes the beer back from Tanya. He takes a long gulp and crushes the can over his head. He has a little cut above his eyebrow. Tanya leaned over and kissed it. Jake kissed her and then turned to the camera and kept speaking...]

Jake Blade:
Now, about that Battle Royal. We all know why there is a new title coming. It's so Jake Blade could take it and with it, lead the HWF into the next millennium! And after I climb into that ring with everyone else in the Battle Royal, I'll promptly take every one of them by the head and throw them out of the ring. One by damn one. And after all of their feet touch the floor, after all the smoke is cleared, the ref will stand there and raise my hand in victory. The crowd will go wild as someone comes down to the ring with a glorious looking belt and they will climb in and hand it to me. And every one of those people laying on the outside will realize they were beaten by the F*CKING MAN!!!! *crowd pops loud* The man, not JUST the man. But the MILLENNIUM MAN!!!

[The crowd pops.]

Jake Blade:
And then, I will have the respect from every superstar in the HWF. I might be a little cocky, but in the words of the old timer IcE: I'm just that damn good!!!!! Wait, I can't end an interview on that. I'll have to say something else. Oh yeah, and to all out there in that arena listening, just remember this: I'm a cut above the rest!!!!

[The crowd said that along with him and after it was done popped. Jake Blade stood up and helped Tanya out of her seat. He shoved the camera man out of the way. The camera man lost his footing and fell over. Jake and Tanya walked out of the room as the scene fades to black...]



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