Howard and Mildred -- The Autograph Book

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Date Posted: 07:38:35 07/07/02 Sun
Author: LS
Subject: Howard and Mildred

Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.

Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden
behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and
long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the
garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several
hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to
Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?" and he replies "SEX!!!" Mildred exclaims,
"Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to
your head!"

"I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman
could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I guess I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his
trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the
garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold
Howard's manhood. Then, one night, Howard didn't show up
at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure he
was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where
she found him sitting by the pool with another female
resident, Ethel, who was holding Howard's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does
Ethel have that I don't have?"

Howard smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's!"

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