I drink, therefore I am. -- The Autograph Book

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Date Posted: 22:43:38 11/03/01 Sat
Author: Tarnish
Subject: I drink, therefore I am.

Drinking Stage 1: Warm glow, not quite urgent need to pee, half empty drink, thinking about calling the waitress over in a couple minutes.
Drinking Stage 2: Called the waitress over, ordered a drink, waited for her to bring it and ordered the next round on the spot to avoid the wait time. Really thinking about that pee.
Drinking Stage 3: Philosophy strikes. Wild theories start to make perfect sense, but are impossible to explain to another human being in coherent terms. Need to pee badly. Need another drink before going pee.
Drinking Stage 4: Went pee. Have two full drinks. Ordered another to be on the safe side and need to play catchup a bit to get back on the drinking pace.
Drinking Stage 5: Need to pee again. Drank one of the three full drinks as a shot and wondering if the burp is a need to puke or just to belch. Contemplating flagging the waitress down again and letting the opportunity pass in a split second decision based on a millisecond of clarity.
Drinking Stage 6: Stumbled into the bathroom and weaving back and forth in front of the urinal and trying not to let knees buckle enough to drop my chin into the water pipe and knocking myself out on the floor to the men's room. Need to pee is superceded by the need not to pee on myself. Need for drink is satiated by the one I smuggled into the bathroom with me when the bouncer was hitting on chicks.
Drinking Stage 7: Last call. Ordered a round for the table. Was thinking of a round for the whole bar and then settled on just the table. Ordered a double round? Need to hit the bank machine or an Interac payment method.
Drinking Stage 8: Being ushered out of the bar by the bouncer, but have to finish the drinks I paid for. Guzzle the one and nearly belch the contents of my stomach in one fell swoop. Able to keep it down, but am developing a headache from the music and the hiccups from alcohol content in blood.
Drinking Stage 9: Fit key into house door. Must fit key into hou...
Drinking Stage 10: After puking for breakfast, attempt to recreate "the night before" (around mid-afternoon). Take nap. Dread work next day. Pass out again.

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Replies:

Re: I drink, therefore I am. -- Logan, 08:49:00 11/04/01 Sun