| Subject: If anyone cares >>> |
Author:
Anonymous
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Date Posted: 19:31:14 08/10/01 Fri
I'm not sure if this is where I should put this, but somethings been bothering me and this seems like a better place than the MMB. Ok, the thing is I come here to get away from the stresses of not having any friends ((atleast no good ones)). See, I had 3 best friends but ones moving, one I've grown away from, and the other is now part of the popular group and even though most of the people in that group are my friends too, I feel like I'm getting in the way of this third friend. Anyway, I just got hit in the head cuz I realized I didn't have any best friend. Before, if anyone asked who my best friend was I'd just say "oh I have a lot" but than I realized it was true. It was less than 3. Anyway, I've spent the last week crying (since i found out my friend was moving). To make matters worse, my mom is yelling at my constanly and she's told me she just wants to make me feel bad. So now I'm feeling compltely alone and cold and the only thing that keeps me from going nutz and hurting myself is horseback riding which my mom has threatened several times to take away. Anywho...I come here and go into the chat and what I find is a bunch of peopel that are really close and goofying off having the time of their lives. Or their talking about people I have never met and I just sit there cuz I dont' want to be rude. Anyway, I kinda feel like I'm being rejected cuz I've tried many occasions to have them warm up to me, but it doesn't really work. I mean, I've had my first crying session already today about a few hours ago, but when I got into the chat I've started crying again. I'm actually crying right now. I just feel like I'm some reject. An idiot that always stutters and says the wrong thing to people in RL and chat. I just can't stand it. I feel so pathetic hearing my friends talk about all this stuff their doing today that I'm not invited to. I know there's nothing you guys can do, and no one will probably care, but I just have to vent to someone and there's no one in my life right now that would care or understand. I dont' know what to do. Sometimes I seriously want to end my life, but luckily I have my riding to hold on to, but that's about it. I don't know what to do and I just want someone to talk to who understands and cares.
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