| Subject: two cents... |
Author:
Amy
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Date Posted: 16:05:09 10/22/01 Mon
In reply to:
.yammis.
's message, ". . . . . . b r o k e n . . . . . ." on 11:57:59 10/18/01 Thu
Yam, I know that these are your problems, and that you are the only one who can truly deal with these things. But maybe - in some strange, twisted way - I might be able to help you put things into a different perspective, so that you may sort things out with yourself.
Obviously, you're depressed. But if you think about it, just posting on this board is a huge step in your long walk to recovery. Not because any of us might help you in any way possible, because we probably won't, but for the fact that you are expressing yourself ... you are letting your feelings out in other ways than self-mutilation.
Another thing, I'm not a religious person - so i'm not going to tell you that God loves you, or whatever, like some of the others have done... because i know that sometimes, that's the absolute last thing you want to hear. I was a cutter and i was bulimic and i know that for me i couldn't go on hearing "God loves me, he cares for me" because if he cared for me so much, why would he let me do such things to myself? It makes no sense. But from what I understand from your message is that there are people who care for you... "i didn't want to drag other things in with me. i just wanted to do it to myself. and not have anyone know" So there are people that care for you, since you are worried about hurting them... and you may think you're doing this so as not to be selfish, because it's just you - no one else will know... but by killing yourself you are being selfish, and people will know, and will care, and it will cause them lots of hardship.
I know you've probably had enough of me, but i have one last thing to say : Get help . from the people that care - you know who they are. Yes you do know who they are and if you believe there are none, think hard... think harder!
And if you still can't find anyone, find some anonymous help... from a councillor. Do it. You need it. I, or anyone else on this board, am not a councillor. I don't give professional advice, don't take it like professional advice.
I know I said that last thing was my last thing, but i lied... this is: get well dammit... We, here, all need you. We don't want you to slam into brick walls or trees.
You are a beautiful person.. you know how i know? The way you make people here laugh. It's a great trait, and i love you for it. I don't know you that well, but i know you enough to appreciate everything that you do for the people here.
Get well soon,
Amy
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