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Date Posted: 13:52:24 05/21/00 Sun
Author: Dimon
Subject: Re: Charcoal
In reply to: Chad R. Dobson 's message, "Charcoal" on 04:15:27 05/19/00 Fri

>Hey Chad! How are things? Great read, here. Liked the hard-nosed, bare knuckle spirit of this...gripping. The only thing that didn't seem to pound the mind with the same energetic zeal as the rest of the poem was the second "still"....I don't know, maybe i'm projecting a problem that I'm having with that very word in a poem of mine to this one. It just seems a flat, when a sharp would sound better, you know? Anyhow..thats my two cents...take care, man. Cya :)



Hi all:)
> This is rough, please tell me what you think...
>
> Calm
> Was it yesterday
> Tragedy
>
> Still
> voices remain
> drum breaking
>
> Silent
> Waves lap
> on a rash of flesh
>
> Silent waves
> on this red tissue mesh
>
> Still crashes
> from his architect
>
> Calm pulses
> pain that is beyond electric

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