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Date Posted: 05:11:28 07/12/02 Fri
Author: (hint) tint
Subject: [unpronounceable symbol]
In reply to: mo 's message, "Purple Revision" on 12:24:41 07/11/02 Thu

Yes, that's better - for those of us outside the "Mo 2001 Midsummer Monitor Mishap" loop, and also from a purist standpoint. "and even way before" is filler whereas "sentencing my monitor" is not. Not to preach, but merely to paraphrase the poets I admire on Eratosphere, a MB I frequent:

A poem, like any work of art, should reflect the time and effort the artist put into it. Each line should flow in a metrical pattern of stresses and unstresses with a recognizable cadence that scans easily. Lazy "filler" words should be omitted. When the words flow iambically or in trochees and each word is carefully selected for nuance of impact, the resulting prose is more effective in delivering its message to both layman and master.

And I for one am guilty of violating the above 90% of the time.

How about this verse:

My hair became a violet hue
the time I tried that henna rinse;
the rain against a sunset view,
royally vocalized by Prince.

8 syllables each line, 4 "feet" per line (tetrameter)
a "foot" is stressed/unstressed metrical groups within the line, in this case each line follows a ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum pattern, with ba unstressed and dum stressed. This is iambic style, so this verse would be called "iambic tetrameter".

To break it down,

my HAIR/ be CAME/ a VIO/ let HUE
(the "o" in violet, while sometimes enunciated, is usually not and the meter instructs the reader that it is silent in this case as well)

the TIME/ i TRIED/ that HEN/ na RINSE
(pretty straightforward)

The RAIN/ a GAINST/ a SUN/ set VIEW
(by now the metrical rhythm should have resulted in sing-song type scansion by the reader)

roy A/ lly VO/ ca LIZED/ by PRINCE
(royally can be pronounced two ways, ROY-a-lly or roy-A-lly. The first may be more common but since, by the fourth line the meter is well established, the reader should automatically revert to the enunciation that fits the meter)

Now I know you're not trying to take on Emily Dickinson but you seem to being eager to improve your poetry so I'm passing on some metrical basics. Yes, it turns what might be a fun distraction into a hell of a lot of work. It's quite a juggling act to get the syllables right, get the stresses right, eliminate filler and still say what you want to say. Not to mention enjambments, assonance/dissonance and a myriad of other mitigating forms I will spare you and not go into.

But just being aware of these styles and trying to incorporate them will improve the quality of your poems, even if they don't completely conform to the metrical style.

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