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Date Posted: 12:58:26 03/18/00 Sat
Author: Typhoid Mary
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 168.27.251.25
Subject: Oh Braddy Poo



[the camera fades from black. The scene is that of the outside of a church. It is a very beautiful church with many stained glass windows and a tall white steaple with a marble cross at the very top of it. The sounds of singing can be heard inside. It is a hymn that is being sung by just the choir and not the church body. Mainly because they are just practicing, and not performing at the moment, but still they sound absolutely beautiful. Kneeling at the steps is Typhoid Mary. She appears to be praying, with her hands clasped together. Her eyes are closed, and she seems to be mumbling something under her breath. There are several people around her, but they quickly...and I mean quickly walk by and don't turn around.]

Mary: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with the, blessed is--

[Mary's eyes open, and she looks around. Her eyes appeared to be glazed over like she has just awoken from a sleep. She slowly gets to her feet, and after another moment her eyes return to her normal...wild eyes]

Mary: Stalking?

[she says this facing away from the camera, but in actuality it is to the man behind the camera.]

Cameraman: Huh?

[Mary quickly turns around, and comes straight at the camera, grabbing it around the lense]

Mary: I asked if you were @%$#ing stalking me. Now answer the damn question!

[the cameraman struggles with not dropping the camera]

Cameraman: No...no...no...I'm not...

[Mary does not let go of the camera, but stops trying to take it. The camera lense fills a close-up shot of her face. Her black lipstick, almost kissing the lense itself]

Mary: Then why are you following me?!

Cameraman: I was sent by the NACW...they wanted me to talk to you...please don't hurt me.

[Mary's demeanor changes, as she quickly lets go of the camera and backs away. SHe puts her hands behind her back, and her smile appears]

Mary: They want you to talk to little ole me...I feel so special. Whattabout?

Cameraman: Brad Culver?

[Mary's look goes from being happy to a very obvious look of disappointment]

Mary: Oh.

Cameraman: Well you have a match with him on Monday...and it is for the World Title...do you have anything to say about him or to him? He had some pretty interesting things to say about you.

[Mary's demeanor once again changes to being interested in the conversation]

Mary: Oh yes...I read ole Braddy Poo's comments on me. Comparing me to Drew Barrymore. Saying I had typhoid. Thinking threatening me with a chair shot is going to scare me off. Having the nerve to say they let me out of the loony bin.

Cameraman: Yeah...that pretty much covers it. With the exception of the fire ants...

[Mary looks right at the camera with a stern look on her face]

Mary: Did anyone ask you?

Cameraman: Um...no...sorry.

Mary: Yes you are.

[after a moment of silence from both Mary and the Cameraman, Mary's smile returns]

Mary: He compares me to a slut like Drew Barrymore. I think we figured out exactly who Braddy Poo fantasizes about at night. Now Braddy Poo, with the wonders of the internet, I'm sure you can find lots of sites to help you with your fantasies, because let's just face it...you are never going to get laid unless you pay some girl off. Now I'm sure that the next time you appear on television you are going to be surrounded by beautiful women...just so you can prove me wrong, but as soon as the camera shuts off, they push away from you and demand their payment, which you will gladly pay, just because you would think that you told me something...proved a little point, when all you really did was show what a complete ass you are.

[Mary's smile widens, turning into her wicked smile, showing all her pearly white teeth]

Mary: Saying I had Typhoid, simple because of my name shows your incompetence. Did it take you hours to come with that one? Oh...it really hurt. I would like to thank you for proving the point that you are utterly stupid, before I had a chance to prove it myself. Then you think threatening me with a chair shot is going to scare me away. Another thing to prove how truly stupid you are. Knowing nothing about my past, you assume that a chairshot is the worst possible thing that could happen. Oh how wrong you are. I have been through things that you only see in made for TV movies. Been through things that drive any ordinary person insane...and yes, I was ordinary at one time, and then I went through it all. So what does that make me know? However, if memory serves me...you wouldn't be allowed to hit me with a silly extreme chairshot in our little regular match. There are rules in those kind of matches, and we wouldn't want to break any of the rules...would we? So let's make it a fun little Hardcore Match. Think of all the fun we can have. You will be able to hit me with your little chair shot as many times as you would like, and you have no idea what I would do to you. Time is short...I would suggest letting someone know. Or how about this, let's just call it a Hardcore Match from here on out, until you chicken out of it. Oh I'm sure you'll have a good reason for it, but it will still all boil down to you chickening out. You see pain doesn't scare me. I welcome it. But are you ready to deal with the most awful pain from me, Braddy Poo. Are you? I don't think so. I think you better look long and hard at your life and ask yourself if you really want to risk yourself...your very life, just to take on little ole me.

[the camera zooms in on her smile slightly, but then the smile vanishes]

Mary: Because come Monday...you won't have the chance to change your mind, and your fate will already be set in stone, becuase Typhoid Mary is coming after you, and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it!

[the camera fades as Mary continues to stare into the camera]

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