Subject:  Going back to read the rest of the murder files, Pray for me... |
Author:
Nancy Noel
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Date Posted: Friday, July 18, 08:46:33pm
Most of you know that my mom and her boyfriend were murdered in Dec. 1973. I was only 16. It goes unsolved. This December will be 30 years. A long time to grieve. I finally got permission to read the files. It took me about 7 years to get that permission and once I got it, I wasn't sure that I wanted to do it.
I've been there once, I read some horrible things. I also read things that were wrong, just people trying to get in thier 15 minutes of fame.
When I was there, I couldn't read very much, only 2 hours and a lot of questions. None of which anyone could answer. The investigation was so botched. The file was a little over an inch thick. How pathetic. I was expecting the state patrol to bring in this huge box and when it was just a handfull of papers, I almost lost it.
David, the patrol man, handles all the cold case files. I have faith in him, he just solved a 22 yr. old murder case.
I'm not allowed to tell anyone what is in the files. I sure wish I could. Maybe a couple of things. My mom fought, I would expect nothing less from her. The other things are just what I told you, people lying. I did read some things that might take this investigation in another direction, but since I didn't read the whole thing, I could be wrong.
I'm already having panic attacks, such anxiety. I have a little over a month to go down there. I just want to go now, do all my notes for them and get it over with. I would like to have this case solved before the 30th. year comes around. I know I'm probably dreaming, but without dreams, where would we be?
I would like everyones prayers over the next month. One for this anxiety, two for getting this solved. Thirty years is a long time to grieve.
I never had closure on this, several reasons, It isn't solved, I couldn't get to Mom's funeral because I was stuck in a snow storm in Illinois and the state patrol had closed all roads. I never got to say goodbye.
I'm going to post this on the other board also, I just wanted to tell everyone here first. I'm afraid I will get the big fat finger when I post on the other board.
I really want this solved so that I can live in Peace. I have to at some point put this to rest. I just can't be like the rest of my family and give up. I'm the only one that has kept this investigation going. Maybe they think I'm a pain in the butt. Who knows.
I just know, someone took my mother from me, she never got to hold her first grandchild, which was my first son. You know, sometimes you just need your mommy. Many times I've needed her and she wasn't here.
Ok, I'm done, just remember me in your prayers for the next month and longer. This isn't going to be easy, but something that I feel that I must do.
Sending hugs and love to all. Thanks for listening to my babbling. Nancy
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