She looks up at him. -- The Clearing

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[> [> [> [> [> She shakes her head. -- Lill' Travita, 12:23:19 05/04/02 Sat

"I'm not so sure about that. Orion doesn't want to be here anymore, and you should have heard what Romulus II said to me! They're so unfair! It's all so unfair!" Her voice is sharp and bitter, as some of her new self shines through.

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[> [> [> [> *Pads over* -- Agma, 22:36:18 05/04/02 Sat

I'm sorry if I'm interupting something, but I.... Travis. I won't be here too much longer, and I wanted to tell you how much your friendship has meant to me. I didn't hear what my brother said Travis, but I just wanted to tell you he probably did the same thing Azure would have done had I made you cry. He knows your hurt, and sad, but he also knows you hurt Washita. He loves her and will protect her. Anyway I heard they've had pups, your a grandmother. I'm sure you'll see them soon. Romulus will forgive you. I don't need to tell you, he was pretty selfish after my father was killed. I can tell he's not too angry. He hasn't held agaist you, that you are related to Natancher. The thing I wanted to tell you was that you've done nothing wrong. After the losses you've suffered... I was scared at first, but I realized you've suffered a great loss. I'm sorry if I interupted, but it won't matter soon anyway. I had to tell you what I thought just in case, I don't want to leave anything unsaid. *He begins to pad away back to Ivy*

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[> [> [> [> [> "Agma! Wait!" -- Lill' Travita, 11:23:27 05/08/02 Wed

As he spoke, she had felt her anger rise again, quicker than ever. She never used to get angry, not this easily. But as he turned to walk away, a shiver of fright makes her tremble and washes all anger out of her. She know she will loose him too - and that was what made her furious, though she won't admit it - but she doesn't want to turn against him in the end. The thought that he will leave fills her with fright, but at least she can make it go smoother.
"Agma, I... I'm sorry I've been so angry at everybody lately. I don't know what's happening to me. I shouldn't have shouted at your brother. I will go see him and Washita." She pauses, feeling a bit hurt as she thinks no one has bothered to tell her about the pups, but she pushes it away and continues. "Thank you, Agma. For telling me this so I can see it more clearly, for everything. You've always been one of my closes friends. Thank you." And I want you to be so until we must part, she thinks, but doesn't say it out loud, as it is mostly to remind herself on it. It takes a lot to controll her feelings now; the anger is so close all the time. It is a new feeling, and it worries her. But she can't let that come in the way now. "I will miss you." Tears appear in her eyes, and the sadness that fills her finally drowns the anger. "But we will meet again. Goodbye, Agma." She has to whisper the last words, but she knows he will understand even if he doesn't hear her. The though makes her give him a faint and sad, but loving smile.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> {He stops, nods holding back tears} -- Agma, 20:56:44 05/08/02 Wed

*He turns away not wanting to cry in front of her.* I know Travis, I always have. I'll say goodbye to the pack before I leave for good. I.... wish I didn't have to leave.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Silent tears run down her face. -- Lill' Travita, 06:26:39 05/11/02 Sat

"Me too, Agma, me too..." But she knew too well now, that wishes hardly ever became reality.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> *He grins sadly* -- Agma, 18:15:26 05/11/02 Sat

At least I'll get to be with my family. I'll tell Natraviol what a fine wolf you've become. I doubt my father will be pleased with me though. *Sighs*

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> She shakes her head. -- Lill' Travita, 09:20:06 05/12/02 Sun

"Thank you," she whispers, wondering what Natraviol really would think if he was here now. "And you've got nothing to fear, Agma. You're one of the finest wolves I know."

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> *He sighs* -- Agma, 16:53:36 05/12/02 Sun

I wish I could believe that, but I've never done anything worth honoring like you have. I'm sort of just here biding my time.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> She walks over to him. -- Lill' Travita, 11:41:48 05/14/02 Tue

"Honoring? Chasing my adoptive son, who I promised to take care of, away from me? Making my adoptive daughter's mate deplore the day he met me, and hurt her so she didn't even tell me they had pups? Suspect my own daughter for wanting to take the pack away from me right away, as if I shouldn't hand it over to her or Acholan soon anyways. Ignoring my pack and it's members, feeling too sorry for myself to bother about anyone else's feelings?" Her voice has a kind of desperate tone, wanting so much to take back all the pain she has caused, now when she sees things more clearly. She shakes her head, looks down and silences for a while. When she looks up, her eyes have gotten back some of the sensitive look that has been missing since the Survivors died, and are now filled with regret and sorrow.
"They say nobody's perfect, but I'm worse than what's acceptable; I'm a monster. And you... you are the angel that compensate for my sins. So don't say this. You're good, you're honorable. You're my angel, Agma." She gives him a wet nuzzle, tears on her face.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> *SHakes his head* -- Agma, 20:23:18 05/14/02 Tue

You forget about all the good you've done though. You are not a monster. You may have done bad things, but I've done nothing. You escaped from your past. You are nothing like your family. I grew up in a good, kind family, and look at me now. I'm the last one left from my father's first litter, and look at the legacy I leave behind. I need to go tell Romulus II, the family story so if there are ever any questions.... My brothers and sister added to the story. I haven't. You've done so much, and your much younger than I.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> She smiles sadly. -- Lill' Travita, 13:35:48 05/16/02 Thu

"In most of what I've done, I guess I had no choise. You have done good things too, Agma. You've always been here for me. You've been a good beta. Don't be too hard towards yourself. I guess we all wish we'd done more, done things different, when our time comes to leave this life and it's too late to change anything. You've taken care of your mate and pups, and you've managed to stay good and kind in this evil world. You've done more than many others have and will. Don't be too hard towards yourself."

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> '*He smiles sadly* -- Agma, 20:41:13 05/16/02 Thu

I'll try to be back before I die, but I have to go talk to my brother.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> She nods. -- Lill' Travita, 11:03:31 05/17/02 Fri

"I understand. Goodbye, Agma."

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> *He sighs* -- Agma, 18:10:47 05/17/02 Fri

If I don't make it back tell Ivy, I love her and will always love her. *He pads away looking at the pack.*

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Looks after him. -- Lill' Travita, 09:43:56 05/18/02 Sat

"I will, Agma, I will. May you find peace, dear friend," she whispers silently, tears streaming down her face. She then turns around, sees her adoptive son and with a sad sigh walks over to him. She has a lot to make up, but she is almost happy for it. It can help her to keep the sorrow from taking her over. She knows she need something; her personality change last time her losses became too big proved that.