Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed. -- The Word Was God

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Date Posted: 09:38:57 02/02/02 Sat
Author: DJ
Author Host/IP: 216.89.129.58
Subject: Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed.
In reply to: DJ 's message, "Here are some personal feelings expressed." on 09:27:40 02/02/02 Sat

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Well done, Mark!

Getting over that little deep-seated fear of hell is a tough
obstacle. I have gotten over hell, but every once in a while when
something good happens (found money, a good parking space) my brain
automatically says, "Thank you Lord."

ARRRGHGGHHH!!!!!!

Amanda

--- In exitfundyism@y..., "mark77777772002"
wrote:
> I first posted to this group a few months back just starting to
break
> free from my fundamentalist belief system. At that time I had not
> really done any serious study for myself but had enough doubts and
> questions, which other Christians seemed unable to address, to
shake
> my faith.
>
> Trying to hold on to the idea of a personal saviour when all the
> evidence points to there being no such thing is very difficult.
When
> you have invested so much energy, emotion, money and time. When the
> only friends you have left are other believers because you
alienated
> your real friends years ago in your zeal to save their souls.
>
> You are in effect fighting for control of your own mind. While the
> case against God mounts by the day you berate yourself for your
lack
> of faith. You know that to leave your faith behind would be to
leave
> your new family behind. You see the people you thought had all the
> answers twisting and contorting the bible to defend untenable
> positions. Yet you still can't take that final step. All the while
> you are in fear of the flames of hell.
>
> "Just have faith" they say, "Just trust", "Jesus loves you", "Pray
> more", "Read your bible", "Fast", "Just give in to God" and so on.
> You try them all and become more despondent and depressed as they
do
> not work. You wonder whether it wouldn't be easier to listen to
those
> voices and give in. I think most do. Yet others care too much about
> honesty and intellectual integrity.
>
> For me the real turning point was when I realised that for months,
if
> not years, I had been unable to look someone in the eyes and tell
> them that Jesus was 'real.' I could not continue living like that
so
> I began to study honestly and earnestly. As I am sure most of you
> have discovered the truth is shocking. The contradictions and
errors
> in the bible, the cover-ups and falsehoods of the theologians, the
> psychological tricks and emotional pressures, the list is endless.
>
> Forgive me for the self-congratulatory tone of this post but I am
> actually proud of myself for breaking free from what amounts to
seven
> or eight years of brainwashing. I have also been able to accept
that
> I was gullible enough to accept willingly a load of nonsense.
> Embarrassing as it is, I realise that I was desperate enough for
the
> love and acceptance which christianity offered that I fell for it
all.
>
> Right now I am not sure exactly what I believe. With no wish to
cause
> offence I cannot see why, if there there is insufficient evidence
to
> believe in the Jesus of the bible, I should believe in a Jesus/God
of
> any other kind for which there is even less if any evidence at all.

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Replies:

Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed. -- DJ, 10:18:51 02/02/02 Sat