Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed. -- The Word Was God

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Date Posted: 10:18:51 02/02/02 Sat
Author: DJ
Author Host/IP: 216.89.129.58
Subject: Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed.
In reply to: DJ 's message, "Re: Here are some personal feelings expressed." on 09:38:57 02/02/02 Sat

Congrats on your de-conversion. It has certainly
inspired me to one day explain to my fundie friends
I'm gonna leave church. I am going thru what you went
thru earlier and I hope to break away from the grip
the church has on me eventually
Good luck(?) in all your endeavours.
Incidentally that brings me to another topic. I have
noticed that Pentecostal churches have sprung up left
right centre here in Singapore and other parts of
South East Asia. Their growth has been exponental (I
don't have figures but wherever I go it is always
"God's in Church XYZ in Cambodia/Thailand/Laos..).
Wonder how long it will take to corrupt their cultures
till they become totally a people with no other
identity apart from a "born again fundie"? who knows
they might actually end up demolishing Angkor Wat once
they become dominant!

> From: swiley@netzero.com
> [mailto:swiley@netzero.com]
> Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2002 8:07 PM
> To: exitfundyism@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [exitfundyism] Finally...
>
>
> Hello Group.
> It has been a very, very long time since I last
> wrote. A few of you I'm
> sure will remember me, but I'll try to sum up my
> life story for those of you
> who have joined in the past, I dunno, year or two.
> (Through your posts, I
> feel I've gotten to know most all of you, newbies
> and [exitfundyism]
> veterans alike.)
>
> So where do I start? I'd be lying to say that my
> life is full of regrets.
> My parents love me, as do (or did) the members of
> our church. It would only
> be fair to say that for the most part, I was quite
> content and happy as a
> little fundy youngster. I attended the Christian
> academy for 5 years, and
> afterwards I homeschooled until graduation. All this
> time I was fairly
> active in the AWANA club and very much pleased with
> my status as a believer
> in the inerrant, infallible, incorruptible (ad
> nauseum...) Word of God.
>
> But, as has happened with most of us here, I woke
> up to the realization
> that, despite all the hype and indoctrination, the
> Bible is absolutely human
> in origin, and that all the belabored arguments to
> the contrary don't hold
> water, not for me at least. "How long do I have to
> comply with all this
> ludicrous fundamentalist B.S.?!" I thought, quite
> inaudibly. This was
> sometime around two years ago, when I was in my
> junior year I think. My
> conclusion was that I would finally do something
> after I graduated. And I
> did. Finally!
>
> You know, once you've decided that much of the
> stuff taught at your local
> place of worship is rubbish, it becomes awfully
> difficult to sit in the pews
> every week and give an "Amen!" every so often. But
> beyond that, the ties of
> a church run much deeper, particularly in my case,
> as someone who really
> didn't have many friends outside the church. Not to
> mention that these were
> good friends, and sadly one really can't tell if
> anyone else has sympathetic
> feelings (concerning church doctrines, etc.). Let me
> quote from a post I
> made last year:
> I remind myself daily that I promised myself when
> I joined this group that
> I would leave fundyism. And I simply can't think of
> myself defying parents
> and leaving my local church. I've also built some
> pretty strong friendships
> that would be instantly broken if I were to renounce
> my old ways and
> beliefs. You guys were such an encouragement to me
> when I quit lurking on
> the list nearly 10 months ago. Please let me know if
> you have any input as
> to what actions I should take. I feel desperate.
>
> So there I was, feeling almost all alone. But I
> drew from your advice a
> lot. This group really helped me make my decision,
> and I'll always be
> grateful for your support (whether in direct
> response to a post of mine, as
> well as the general themes you guys touch on).
>
> I was the second week of college. I was feeling
> just a little bit more
> independent. I had my own car, and I was settling in
> to the groove of
> college life. But the urge was still with me. The
> always-increasing desire
> to make a new identity for myself, spiritually at
> least. I drew up all the
> nerve I had within me, and wrote out a vague little
> note saying that I would
> no longer be attending church and left it where I
> knew my mother would see
> it. And I tried to stay attentive in my two Thursday
> classes.
>
> When I got home, of course I had no idea what to
> expect. I didn't bring
> the note up, though I knew it was bound to
> materialize sooner or later. So
> after lunch my mother finally started crying and we
> talked for what must
> have been 4 or 5 hours. Rather, she talked mostly
> and I did my best to
> answer somewhat diplomatically and at all cost avoid
> arguing. I lost that
> battle unfortunately. The next day was very rough
> and we probably talked
> even longer. Actually I really don't remember many
> words, so much as the
> tears.
>
> Then on Saturday I had to talk to my father also.
> The less I say about
> this, probably the better. Many of you know how
> unpleasant this can be.
> Suffice it to say that the whole experience was
> unreal. Both my parents
> pleaded with me to reconsider. Above all I was
> warned of the hellfire
> awaiting the unbelieving soul, as if that was news
> to me after 18 years of
> sermons! After what seemed like an eternity I went
> to bed at 6:00 A.M. I
> haven't gone to church since.
>
> That was September 9. I needn't mention the guilt
> I felt over not going to
> prayer meeting on the 12th. I'm sure many of you
> felt the same way. With so
> much on the minds of all Americans, I don't even
> know if they noticed my
> absence for the first few weeks.
>
> Every day has been a bit of a struggle, but my
> conscience is not burdened
> any longer. I know I did the best thing for myself.
> There's no way to
> convince my family of that, and I've mostly accepted
> this. I'm sorry that I
> hurt my parents, but I simply could not comply with
> the status quo. There
> was no way out of it.
>
> For all those on the list who have yet to strike
> out for themselves, I
> offer the following words of advice.
> First of all, I'm certain that you will know when
> it is the right time.
> Your patience might wear extremely thin in the
> meantime, but I think it's
> best if you are totally confident that you have made
> the right choice, and
> that your mom and dad can at least live with it.
> Second, as difficult as it may seem, try to
> listen, don't react with
> hostility, and don't even try to convince them of
> anything - with the
> notable exception that you still love them, and just
> long for the same in
> return.
> Lastly, understand that things will probably just
> get better in your
> relationship once the proverbial beans have been
> spilled. I know this sounds
> strange, but it just might motivate all parties to
> show their care for one
> another. It has in my situation.
>
> I'm glad I can finally talk to people about all
> this. I'm just sorry that
> it's taken so long for me to do it. Tomorrow is the
> first day of the new
> semester. It should be a busy one for me. Wish me
> luck.
> -Steve

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