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Date Posted: 08:07:50 11/30/01 Fri
Author: Leigh
Subject: Re: Holiday Chapter 32
In reply to: Leigh 's message, "Holiday" on 08:06:31 11/30/01 Fri


Chapter 32:

Nikita frowned. Her shoulders sagged in defeat as she admitted in a tiny voice, “I think I am too.”

Carla sucked in her breath. This was a first, Nikita was admitting she was in falling in love? Good god, what would happen next?

“Oh stop looking at me like that,” Nikita growled, and her frown deepened. “I said, ‘I think’. Think! I’m not certain yet. Besides, what do I know about falling in love? For all I know this good be a really bad case of indigestion or something.”

Indigestion? Carla blinked rapidly, and then a low rumbling sound began deep down in her chest and, unable to contain herself any longer, she burst out laughing. The other patrons in the restaurant paused in their meal to look their direction. Nikita, growing more irritated by the minute, leaned forward and hissed at her friend. “Oh will you be quiet! You’re no help at all!”

It took Carla a few minutes to calm herself, but when she did, she gazed fondly at her friend. “Oh, Nicky, I think this is so great. You’ve finally fallen in love, and all this time you worried that it would never happen to you.”

“I-did-not-worry,” Nikita huffed, lifting her chin. “And I’m still not admitting that I’m in love with Michael. I said, ‘I think’ I am. There’s a difference, you know.”

“Oh give it up. You’re in love and we both know it. When have you ever missed a man like you do Michael? I’ll tell you. Never. You have never missed any of the men you were dating. Remember Helmet Volker? He was gone a whole month on that safari you refused to go on, and did you miss him? No. I doubt if you even remembered he was gone at the time.”

Nikita sat in quiet reflection, her eyes troubled. After several seconds, she turned her head to gaze unseeingly at their surrounding. “Is this love?” she said slowly, “Or am I letting my guard down?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isn’t it funny,” Nikita said, though there was no humor in her eyes as she looked at Carla, “that after all this time, I allow myself to fall in love with a man that lives on the other side of the world? I was thinking about that the other night, about how subconsciously I must have decided that it’s okay to be with Michael because nothing serious can come out of it. He lives in Paris. I live here.” Nikita inhaled deeply and breathed out a sigh. Across the table, Carla rolled her eyes.

“There you go with that psychology crap. You’re always over analyzing everything. Will you just, for once, live in the moment?” Carla leaned forward, her eyes intense as she met Nikita’s doubting ones. “Who knows what will happen in the future? You could go out tomorrow and get hit by a car, and then what? It won’t matter s*** what your subconscious thinks because you’ll be dead and you know what? You’ll have missed out on the opportunity to have loved a good man; all because you were too busy analyzing this and that.”

Nikita stared at Carla and her mouth set into a hard line and her brows furrowed into a frown. She blinked once, and then said, “Do you really think I’ll get hit by a car tomorrow?”

At Carla’s furious look, Nikita held her hands up – palms out – and grinned. “Just kidding.” She thought a moment about the point Carla had made, and then said, “Maybe you’re right. I should just live the moment. I mean, here I am worrying about the future when I don’t even know if this love I feel for him will last.”

“Exactly. Nothing’s guaranteed,” Carla stated. “The best we can do is to live here and now. If you love Michael and he loves you, then enjoy that. Make the most of it.”

Nikita grinned. “All right. I’ll drink to that,” she said, raising her cup of tea. “Live for the here and now, for tomorrow I may be hit by a taxi and –“

“Oh f*** you,” Carla said, as the corners of her mouth tilted upward.

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