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Date Posted: 26/04/08 7:04pm
Author: Professor Barnswallow
Subject: Re: Nanotechnology, the latest..
In reply to:
Professor Rudyard Woolf
's message,
"Nanotechnology, the latest.." on
25/04/08 11:30pm
My good Sir Professor Rudyard Woolf,
M y name is Professor Barnswallow and I have been working on a similar nanotechnology project that may be of interest. I have nearly completed my nano Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupé the sticking point has been getting the teak decking just right and the wicker picnic trunk to hold service for 5 without the plates rattling.
I would be very interested in your yacht as it sounds splendid please describe some more details of the vessel, for instance is it fitted with teak or mahogany appointments, is the hardware brass or stainless? You mention Ten-Tiny-Toilets but nothing about them being fitted with bidet which would of course be a mandatory requirement.
As to the Merlin engines are they the Mk24’s or have they been modified for marine duty? I was also wondering if there is room available to install an ice rink for curling a favorite pastime of mine.
Awaiting your reply at your earliest convenience,
Professor Barnswallow
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Re: Nanotechnology, the latest.. -- Professor Rudyard Woolf,
5/05/08 12:34pm
Dear Professor Barnswallow
I would be delighted to elaborate on my Nano-Yacht, which incidentally I have called "Micro-Mariner."
Please see the specifications below:-
1. Crews Quarters with Bathroom
1/100th of a nanometre long x 1/110th wide
2. Fore Guest Cabin with Bathroom
1/750th of a nanometre long x 1/850th wide
3. Main Guest Cabin with Bathroom
1/890th of a nanometre long x 1/890th wide
4. Captains Cabin with Bathroom
1/10th of a nanometre long x 1/5th wide
5. Aft Guest Cabin with Bathroom
1/980th of a nanometre long x 1/900th wide
6. Engine Room
1 nanometre long x 1/3rd wide
7. Day Toilet
1/10,000 of a nanometre long x 1/100,000th wide
The yacht is fabulously furnished throughout as one would expect from a vessel of this calibre and pricerange.
I won`t go into the minute details suffice to say that I have received two telephone bids in the range of £800,000.000 since we last corresponded. I am confident your budget will be in the billion pounds + range so we will be able to talk business.
Nb.
When we last spoke the yacht was moored in a puddle north of Watford but due to an unfortunate mishap we had with an Alsation dog the yacht had to undergo a complete refurbishment at our specialist laboratory here in Southampton. I am delighted to inform you though that Micro-Mariner looks as good as new.. (with a sub-atomic electron microscope she does anyway lol).
Sincerely
Professor Rudyard Woolf
Head of the Institute of Nanotechnology and Study of all things Puny.
"Little Things Please Gargantuan Minds"
Rudyard Woolf 1957
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Re: Nanotechnology, the latest.. -- Professor Barnswallow,
5/05/08 2:49pm
My good Professor Rudyard Woolf,
Thank you most graciously for your reply, you say £800,000.000 and I would proffer that you would really like to see £1,000,000.000 and not a penny less which I am willing to offer so lets seal the deal at £999, 000,000.99 what say you?
I had reservations about your leaving “Micro-Marine” as you call her in a puddle in Watford however I had not thought that a Alsation dog would be a problem more likely a poodle. Now I notice since you refurbished the vessel your list of bathroom facilities seems less than the 10 originally stated, by 6/10th ‘s it seems, does that mean you have retrofitted the ice rink for curling as I requested? How about the bidet’s I don’t care if the crews quarters is fitted but all the others certainly must be!
About the crew, and I hope there is one, is the Captain blind in one eye and does he have a peg leg, that would be splendid. If not say for an additional £1,000,000 can we get an eye plucked out and sever a leg? Sorry to be such a perfectionist but these things matter to myself and my guests.
I am pleased to report that since our last correspondence I have all the bugs worked out of my nano Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupé. The teak decking is divine and the plates do not rattle in the least even under the rigors of my test track on the head of a pin.
I hope I am not being too bold but would you mind terribly if I went to the marine board and renamed the vessel “Spitfire X4” it just seems like a more appropriate name with the 4 Merlin engines.
Well if all that is right with you, I’ll be by tomorrow in Southampton to inspect the vessel, I trust you will not mind if I bring along my own electron microscope to make the inspection. It’s not a matter of distrust but there was that one time when I was going to invest in Canadian coconuts that I was examining them under the sellers equipment and suddenly a CBC broadcast came into the view, nasty business with a video tape you know so I can not be too careful.
Professor Barnswallow
Breeder of Champion fleas and dust mites
Fellow of the Order of the Order 3rd degree
Aghast at almost everything!
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Re: Nanotechnology, the latest.. -- Professor Barnswallow, 6/05/08 11:36pm
My good Professor Rudyard Woolf,
Last evening I was attending the monthly meeting of the Order of the Order we meet at the Owl & Sow in Keswick, the Publican happens to be a 2nd degree Fellow of the Order of the Order so we meet for free in the back room.
As the meeting was coming to order and we had consulted Roberts Rules of Order prior to commencing to place our order with the barmaid one of our esteemed members brought up a point of order, and as was his right made a Privileged Motion suggesting we increase our membership. Once we placed our order for a few pints the meeting came to order and as is customary after an orderly discussion of the motion, another order of pints all around we commenced to debate the motion. Finally after another order of pints all around it was put to a vote as spelled out in Roberts Rules of Order. After the vote which was a tie, another Incidental Motion was made to convene a committee to discuss the original Motion which carried by a unanimous vote.
Nominations for the committee were made and it was decided that we would all be on the committee. Several points of order were raised as well as several pints were ordered as the orderly discussion continued. Once the committee had discussed the matter we thanked ourselves for service to the committee and resumed our rolls as general members. After the report from the committee was presented to the membership and accepted and entered in the minutes as prescribed under Roberts Rules of Order another vote was taken and it was unanimously decided to seek new members.
Which brings me to you good Sir! I made a Subsidiary Motion to the original Privileged Motion suggesting that we offer you a chance to join us. Mind you if after your introduction and formation of a committee to approve new members, their report and a vote by the membership you would be granted provisional status as a 27th degree Fellow of the Order of the Order. So please come by the Owl & Sow in Keswick, third of next month and once the meeting comes to order I would be pleased to make a motion to nominate you for membership. You may want to peruse a copy of Roberts Rules of Order in the meantime as we are an orderly bunch and it would be unfortunate if you did something out of order at this critical time.
Regards,
Professor Barnswallow
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