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>My dear MFCC, > >Sorry to hear your misfortunes with the bed warmers >but as has been the case it seems the general public >is just not ready to safely operate Nuclear Powered >appliances as evidenced by the previous products >recalled after the KZ-4X & JimbleJammer incidents. > >After one particularly nasty incident with a KZ-4X I >was asked to examine the product literature to >determine if there was a liability issue. Although >there were one or two typographical errors in the >English and French versions of the instructions we >really could not place blame on the manufacturer the >original documents written in Mandarin (northern >dialect) were perfectly clear in describing “Never >push the Red Button” our finding was the instruction >was garbled when it was dictated to one of your wax >cylinder MP3’s by an interpreter, sent to Tibet to be >typeset as an illuminated manuscript by monks, >transmitted by facsimile to Norway and carried by >courier to India for the training of the help desk >staff where it was smudged by curry. By the time it >went to the printer back in Southeast Asia it was >unreadable so they substituted the manual for a >child’s toy that they already had 10,000 copies >printed and affixed a strip of printed tape over the >words “little miss gas cooker” with the KZ-3X logo. > > >Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, >Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. were wondering if you >will be offering the electric food warmer for sale to >the public as well as replacement for the allegedly >defective bed warmer. Zvonimir was particularly >interested to keep his borsht at a ready to eat >temperature. > >Sincerely, > >Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. >Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall >Attorneys at Law > >PS- I did get your message re: Hamidi and his concerns >about quality and anonymity in his dealings. By now I >am sure the carcasses have either been eaten by wild >animals & insects or have bloated and exploded.

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