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>My Dearest Daphne, > >Those three months in the Shetland Isles are forever >burned into my memory. My only regret is that we had >to cut it short after that nasty business with the >Anglican Church tour group, the pony and the otter. >As for my wife, I had to tell here something so I >concocted the pacemaker story and the good “Surgeon >Professor Jalalabadcad” was kind enough to go along >with the ruse for a few quid. As a matter of fact he >not a surgeon at all, I found him waiting for the bus >and struck up a conversation wherein I discovered he >was in fact an out of work fishmonger. He was so good >in his role that the old Sow hasn’t tried to get >amorous since for fear my having another “attack”. >I’ll be by Friday and wait for your signal that he is >sufficiently tranquillized. Perhaps we can have a romp >on the billiard table in his study again but forgo the >spike heels this time so as not to damage the felt. > >Counting the seconds and hoping the industrial >strength Viagra arrives in today’s post. > >Kevin Langstrom >Trolley Motorman and collector of rare sardine tins

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