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Date Posted: 15/08/06 9:29pm
Author: Karl Schmedrack (http://www.Pie.com)
Subject: Re: Internet addiction?
In reply to:
Ivan Blank
's message,
"Re: Internet addiction?" on
15/08/06 8:13pm
Ivan,
I am looking forward to the on-line ordering of Fred`s gourmet pies, as it’s past my usual feeding time. I am not so sure of your methods re: darkened rooms and no computers, are you sure this will work and how am I to find the pies in the dark. I may not have mentioned it but I have absolutely no sense of smell, I could not detect a skunk in a broom closet.
I have a rather large inheritance held in trust till this coming October, if you could wait I am sure I could sign the whole thing over to the foundation.
Once I receive the URL for ordering could you set up a delivery schedule of say 48 pies a day to be delivered every two hours? Do you ship post or DHL? I’m famished so it’s off to the bakery for a snack.
Karl Schmedrack
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Re: Internet addiction? -- Ivan Blanks,
16/08/06 10:02am
Karl
Sorry to kick-off talking about money, but how much are we talking about reference your inheritance? I`m thinking along the lines of you don`t want to be lumbered with that dreaded inheritance tax, so better to put some of it our charities way? Just a thought. You`ll sleep much a better at night knowing you are helping such a noble and just cause.
My secretary "Fingers" can take care of the paperwork etc it`ll all go as smooth as number 96 industrial strength sandpaper.
Now to more mediocre things. When I say darkened room, we`re not talking something spartan here, you will still have all the mod-cons of home such as a sideboard, a chair and floorboards. We`re not sadists here at the charity, I can assure you I will treat you as I would one of my own, although "my own" have all sadly passed on it`s true many years ago. (chuckles)..
If I may be so bold you seem to have an equal problem with your preoccupation with our pies. You say that you will want
2 of our splendid *award winning* gourmet pies delivered every hour, you might want to purchase some laxatives from you local chemist to ensure what goes in one end comes out the other in rapid procession. Just to add we have our own team of couriers. Most of our drivers are off sick at the moment but "lefty" is reliable and does`nt ask too many questions if you catch my drift.
Please reply ASAP commencing with how you wish to move things forward with regard to your mammoth bequeathement to us and I will get Fingers to get the ball-rolling at this end.
Yours Very Sincerely
Ivan Blanks
"Charity begins at MY home!"
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Re: Internet addiction? -- Karl Schmedrack (Pie Eyed),
16/08/06 4:07pm
Ivan,
I hadn’t thought about the inheritance tax, so you say by signing it over to charity I can avoid all that nasty paperwork? By all means have "Fingers" get the paperwork started, and "lefty" can bring it by for signing when he brings the pies.
It’s not so much I mind the darkened room but as I mentioned before my olfactory senses are nil, now if we could just arrange to say place the pie on the sideboard where I might find it by flailing my hands up and down I think we have a solution.
There is another matter I need to address, my dog "Sparky". I would have a terrible time finding someone to take care of him and I was wondering if it would be all right if I brought him with. "Sparky" you see likes pie as much as I do and about a year ago there was a terrible cracking noise and his poor legs just buckled, now he drags himself around picking up dropped bits of pie and he is covered with sores. I would be willing to pay a higher fee if I could just bring "Sparky" along.
You mentioned *award winning* pies, I am looking forward to my first taste. What awards have they won? Paris Exposition 1891, British Frozen Food Federation’s BFFF retail award, ‘You Can Be Sure It’s Fresh – If It’s Frozen’ or perhaps "By Appointment To The Queen"? I do hope there are large ornate seals and lots of decorative ribbons printed proclaiming the awards. I personally find pie just tastes better if the Craft Guild of Chefs say so. Think I’ll pop round and get some Laxoberal at the chemist’s.
Karl Schmedrack
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