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Date Posted: 6/07/06 10:55pm
Author: Daphne Plegming
Subject: World Gobbing Festival
Just to let you know the World Gobbing Festival will go ahead as planned on 17/07/06. Below are the entry categories (beginners and foreign gentleman welcome by the way).
Cough and Gob Distance Contest:
Current UK record held by Maurice Heave of Chelmsford, 5.7 metres.
Consecutive Gobs over the Rugby Post:
Current UK record held by Mary Griffiths of Clwyd, North Wales. 57 Gobs of varying sizes and textures.
Murder a Pigeon With a single Gob in the Eye:
World Record Holder the Reverand Jacob Knackers, North England.
Straight Gob and Catch Back in the Mouth:
World Record Holder Ding Choi Ping, Ho Chi Min City, China.
86 straight back Gob catches with no regurgitations.
Most Disgusting Looking Gob:
UK Record Holder Malcolm Piffle MP for Cleethorpes.
15 spew-ups; 4 deaths and 2 faintings.
Most Attractive looking Gob:
UK Record Holder Samual Graves. His Gob was also voted "Most Edible" amongst Nigerian Diplomats and Parking Wardens of Leeds.
I`ve got to go I feel ill!
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Replies:[>
Re: World Gobbing Festival -- Howard Heaver,
7/07/06 9:19am
I would like to submit my application for Projectile Vomit, so far my personal best was off the balcony and there were four struck straight on and several bystanders.
Howard Heaver
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Re: World Gobbing Festival -- Daphne Plegming,
7/07/06 2:13pm
Dear Howard
Sounds very interesting. At the next gobbing festival we may add a sub-section for Projectile Vomiting. Have you killed anyone yet with your vomits as I was informed recently that a Canadian Mountie went berserk in Vancouver and killed outright
3 OAP`s with a lethal projectile vomit from a-top-a-caravan?
Regards
Daphne P.
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Re: World Gobbing Festival -- Howard Heaver, 7/07/06 6:46pm
Dear Daphne
I understand that Canadian Mountie who went berserk
in Vancouver was tested for "doping" and a large quanity of Ipecac Syrup was discovered in his locker.
Rest assured I would never stoop to such levels, my disgust is genuine.
Howard
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