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Date Posted: 12/07/06 6:39am
Author: Peter Vontransparency
Subject: Re: Conference : Livining with invisibility
In reply to: Rodney Glassbody 's message, "Conference : Livining with invisibility" on 12/07/06 1:41am

Rodney,

Perhaps your being too superficial or at least somewhat transparent in your intentions. As past Chairperson of the Annual Conference For Invisible People I tried to get a count of attendees however even our attempts at using puddles of paint or spraying unsuspecting invisible people with radioactive dye for accounting purposes were unsuccessful. I think this in part failed due to the naturally occurring shyness of invisible people along with the fact that although we had R.S.V.P’s from over 4500, there were only eight servings of Shrimp Louie served the entire weekend. I don’t think anyone showed up!

With this in mind I would suggest the following.
1. Avoiding collisions - As suggested in Berlin in 2003, carrying a 1.5 meter stuffed frog drastically reduced collisions.
2. Indecent exposure - Also from the Berlin Conference, see through clothing avoids these nasty encounters with the public and police.
3. Industry demise: Invisible Porn- Obviously this so called "Invisible Porn" was not as advertised or it would have gone unnoticed!
4. Tattoos: What works - Are you daft man, invisible ink is the only acceptable method.
5. Partial Invisibility : a living hell - Well just dress up like the invisible man/woman and wrap bandages round your head like a burn victim, what’s so hard about that one?
6. Strategic book reading - Subscribe to my books and newspapers at Invisible Publications Ltd. All these publications from the daily news to novels are printed on the finest acid free newsprint or linen and are of archival quality.

Peter Vontransparency
Editor of Transparent News Daily

"Life’s a Bitch, the world is full of mirrors but I am invisible so I can’t enjoy them!"

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