<b><Center>Last Goodbye</b></center> -- *.*.* Headquarters *.*.*

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Date Posted: 10:11:37 07/22/06 Sat
Author: Justin Mallenock
Subject: Last Goodbye

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then i'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all

It was time. The phrase sounded so ominous to him, like the time had been waiting around to for it to be 'the time' and it was finally there. He had been putting this off and putting it off and now he knew he couldn't avoid it anymore. He'd tried to spend all of his time with Courtney - she made him happy. She was simple, there was nothing hidden or complicated her. What you saw was what you got and he appreciated that. Hell, he needed that. He needed someone to help his complex mind rest for awhile, to bring out the light hearted, goof ball side of him that had been missing for the past near year. Absently, pure habit, he shifted to lift his right hand, typing in his security code and then letting the system do a retinal scan before passing through the huge steel doors that spread across the hallway in this wing. Maybe he should have brought Courtney with him. She would have understood, she would have held his hand and comforted him, given him strength to get through this confrontation. Confrontation. He didn't know it would be a confrontation but with Gia...he just had a strong feeling that was exactly what it was going to be. They had been home for six weeks and he just couldn't put off talking to her anymore. Some things just needed to be said, decided, discussed...such as the child she was carrying that was possibly his. His baby. He had never thought about kids, never thought if he wanted them or if he didn't but suddenly there was a possiblity that there was a tiny little human - like chase - who could be made of his genes. He could have his eyes or his nose or maybe the birthmark that he carried on his lower hip that looked like a four leaf clover. He couldn't just ignore the fact that Gia was carrying his baby anymore than the fact that he had at one time been falling deeply in love with Gia. He had been thinking about the white picket fence with her, he had wanted to have her as his own, to take care of her, to protect her from the world but she hadn't wanted any of that. When they were in Bangkok she said she had, that she had been scared...at least thats what he thought she said, he didn't really remember a whole lot of that near traumatizing time.

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Either way, actions spoke louder than words and her actions had screamed out that she didn't want or need him to take care of her, to love her, to coddle her as a man in love wanted to do for the woman who had acquired his attention and affections. Maybe that was why he had moved so willingly into Courtney's bed...because she was such the opposite of Gia. Courtney appreciated and welcomed his protective attitude, she loved how he took charge in bed, she wanted his touch. He had tried so hard with Gia, so damn hard and it just hadn't been enough - that was a huge blow to his ego. It hurt to think he wasn't enough, what the hell else did she want from him? Shaking his head, he forced away his angry thoughts - anger would do him no good right then, not when he was seeing her for the first time in six weeks. With a smile, he turned on the charm and leaned over the counter to talk to the receptionist to the psych ward. Half the nurses around her were falling over their feet for his rakish grin, his sparkling eyes and his over-confident-but-oh-so-sexy attitude and were willing to give him the files of hers that he requested. He didn't open them though, just thanked them with a smile and wink and sauntered off down the hall to her room. Pausing at the door, he took a few deep breaths to calm his pounding heart (though he looked the picture of cool, confident and cocky) before he pushed open the door, not bothering to knock. In a psych ward, manners weren't really of the utmost importance.

Did you say
No, this can't happen to me
And did you rush to the phone to call
Is there a voice unkind
In the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all
Oh didn't know
Oooh didn't know

Oh the bells out in the church tower chime
Burnin' clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes
And the memories offer signs
That it's over...it's over

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