new to the ana-scene -- Pro-Ana

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Subject: new to the ana-scene

Author:
z

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Date Posted: 22:58:14 12/31/03 Wed

hey there. i am a newcomer in the whole ana thing and was wondering if you could help get me started. i have found a number of good pro-ana sites out there but many seem hostile to beginners and i need to first explore what ana means to me. the new ana movement is different from the old-school anorexia considered a disease to which one "fell victim". proactive anorexia (pro-ana) seems a lot less daunting and is more of a way to gain control and perfection and those are things i desperately crave. i am 5 feet, 6 inches tall and 145 pounds. i know, i know, it's huge. even my own mother calls me disgusting and locks herself in her room crying for hours sobbing about how dissapointing my body is or screaming at me how i make her want to puke. i am not doing so well in my elite private school and all this focus on my academics has caused me to eat out of stress and become less able to focus and control my impulses. this extra weight makes me anti-social, undesirable, and just plain ugly and most importantly, has hindered my ballet training. i think being an ana girl will put me back in the driver's seat. anyone out there with experience who wants to help me, IM me at zaniwani9688 or email bzani@andover.edu. thank you so much and i look forward to joining your family.

p.s. any photoshop geniuses out there - i have a request. i have tried using regular thinspiration but have never actually been motivated enough to start starving until a good friend of mine showed me a picture of me circa age seven when i was literally skin and bones. the thought that i could do that, not just another model, was what got me going. i was hoping i could give you a picture of me and you could edit it into a thinspiration pic of a bony, whisper-thin, truly beautiful me? that would be so amazing.

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