Da State ob de Onion -- The Chimneyville Discussion Forum

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Date Posted: 19:58:20 01/21/04 Wed
Author: Hambone B. Observin'
Subject: Da State ob de Onion

How Do? Ol' Bone an' Auntie Shinbone done caucassed an' we done decided dat coanbread is de rat thang to eat wif yo' onion. Den, we went out de do' an' caukkied de neighbors. We done voted an' wants to make our cornditions cumpleetly klear. Mongo sez he's goin' fer Dennis de meenace. (Him an' Willie Nelson is ridin' in de same peerow upstreem wifout no pole.) Genl. Jubalation T. Cornpone sez he is still annielizin' GW's speach las' night. He sez if Barry Goldwater ain't runnin' wif Massa Robert as de VP, he ani't gonna' vote. Marvin cain't stop cussin' dem "war heroes" an' Teddy Kennedy long 'nuff to pay no 'tention. De Rebberint Osmosis an' all de sista's done sent word dat dey is goin' to vote fo' Joe Libermann 'cause (quote) "He a funny lil' ol' white man." De hole delegation'greed dat dat high-polished bareasster, Esquire Edwards done got he hair on too straight an' he suthern axsent on too crooked. We wuz all relieved dat Comrade Gephard done drap off. Dean, he look lak a grand dragon wif he sleebes rolled up, an' Clark needs to strut 'roun wif he han' in he coat lak Massa Boneyparts. (He wuz onea' dem "Frawggies" whut is outlawin' head rags an' beards, an' generally actin' snotty wif no particular reason.) He ain't no count. Dat Wallyloo comin' after he ass. Slick Al ain't goin' nowheres either unless'n he nappy up dat hair some. Dem Dredlocks might work too. De commounity done met up las' night down to de Powerhouse Church ob de Presumptious Assumption (Rat 'cross de road frum dem other D-nomination; De Firs' Church ob de Gooey Death an' Discount House ob Wurship") But Ol' Bone Digress. Oncte we got up in de house ob wurship, we turnt on dat 72 anch plasma screen wif de stereo, quadrofonik, slap down, turn aroun' sound and laser light cystum an' watched Massa Gawge W. rap 'bout he case fo' stayin' in dat taxpayer funded house up dere in de diskrik ob Criminals. We all laff our ass off lookin' at Teddy an Hitlarly. We done decided dat hit doan' make NO difference who you bets on in de superbowl ob governmentin' you is still goin' to git fucked. Hit jus' depen' on de orofice you picks. Hell, Dat Peg Legged Kerry feller, whut done got a Silver Star fo' valor an' sech come home an' rubbed up side ob dat crazy bitch whut set on Ho's artilley piece an' turn dem slips ob paper sayin' "Howdy, I ain't dead yet" ober to dem Nawf Vitemanises. Bleeb Ol' Bone 'bout dis: Dere ain't NEVER been nuffin wurf a pinch ob sheewawwaw shit come frum "up Nawf" or outa Californifcation. Dat why we done Caukiied 'roun here in Hambonezone an' decided to write in Brother Dave Gardner fo' prexident an' Jesse "Lil' Black Scambo" Jaxun fo' VICE prexidents. Den' agin, mebbe we jus' doan fool wif none ob hit. We may froe a "block party" wif de gose ob John Lee Hooker. Details at 'lebben. Gawd Bless, Bone

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Replies:

Re: Da State ob de Onion -- dtort, 08:20:52 01/22/04 Thu
- Re: Da State ob de Onion -- Bone B. Inquirin', 16:20:27 01/23/04 Fri
  - Re: Da State ob de Onion -- dtort, 10:11:03 01/25/04 Sun