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Date Posted: 09:37:57 05/29/01 Tue
Author: Laardvark27
Author Host/IP: wwwcache2.hull.ac.uk / 150.237.5.2
Subject: Here we go.....
In reply to: Laardvark27 's message, "Re: That's nothing" on 12:59:31 05/24/01 Thu

I found it!! BEWARE!! Read at your own risk!!

Laard xxx


The Queens’ speech for this year:

You thought that this speech would be sensible didn’t you, well you were sadly mistaken weren’t you, its actually quite stupid. If YOU can actually read this then you have no need to read it. The chickens have taken over the universe we’re all going to be made in to human oxo cubes help I’m insane. The chickens will make us into cream of human soup which doesn’t have humans in it. It’s an outrage! IMAGINE eating soup but not having humans in it. Yes Yes I understand fully. Get of my leg you evil fiend. My armadilo has got arttheritis in its left ventricle its quite bad I’ll have you know. Did you know that if you pile up thirty four armadilos, six ardvarks, seventy four big burly wood cutters, A certain person called red ridding hood, mrs Horrocks, fourteen sixteen stone blue wales, a cherry, fourty six dead fish, an oil tanker, four gallons of crude water, seven tonnes of useless metal, five thousand pounds worth of cannabis, a rather large pineapple and an antelope with toe nail clippings attached, I don’t. Seven dwarfs were in the bath, they were all feeling happy then happy got out so they started to feel GRUMPY. Who’s House?. Hello my aardvark is hiding in the filing cabinet now. It is scared, what? Fish have no feelings. My what a large amoeba you have, mine has fallen in a vat of salt and has shrunk to the size of a bloated elephant and my amoeba is not very happy about it. Have you noticed this yet? A cod with the flu has more chance of getting caught than an elephant sitting upside down in a vat of yoghurt with a large sign saying ‘ELEPHANT sitting upside down in a vat of yoghurt with a large sign saying ‘elephant sitting upside down in a vat of yoghurt with a large sign saying ‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘ What, sorry, where was I, ah yes Burmah. My toe will never feel again, it has been grounded for eternity. Four for me and an umbrela in my friends. Emu, great! Pickled Cod, Candifloss, Indian Take Away, Farty PANTS, Fnupschfonsplinglepop, moo, Haddock, Who’s dock?, Snooker, Statistics coursework, Chloro-Flouro-Readers Digest Coupons, Fdentgo, Whoops where’s my flibble, armadilos in a nice white wine sauce, MMMMH, Aha colnel you have your salmon pink pantys on your head, my hovercraft is full of large waterprooff ardvarks. The French know nofink about the size of an erection in the centre of the middle of the North sea, shame the titanic didn’t either. Well that’s something you don’t see every day is it? A random number is not very random as when you think about it there is only infinity numbers to choose from, so the randomness of the random number is about as random as the 7.25 to Brighton being de-railed by a pickled onion, volleyed by an oversized pea pod, bouncing off a passing cow which had jumped over the moon and landing in my ooooooooooooof. Gosh, the 7.25 from Brighton just landed in my lap and what an amazing story it has to tell, about pickled onions, pea pods, and a cow jumping over the moon. It’s sulking now. Half a baby dislodged itself from the pens’ teeth. Oracle, orange, odd, ooq. My Arthur where’s Camelot not here or I would have to call you an oop. With my back? Oh you’ve got someone elses thats alright then. Get off my leg, no my liver’s fine, its made friends with a large pot of asprin with a headache and a hangover. Hangovers they are pretty bad especially when over a cliff with no bottom like a stomach with no intestines and no outside but with an inside. Well that’s it now I AM off to be hung by a large piece of bootlace from a giraffe with appendixitis which is stood next to a lion with an acid problem due to the zebra he ate last week which had rabbies and a pet frog which was called Robin who has a girlfriend with the shits she keeps letting off during sex and following through he is going to chuck her for the reed with the cute haircut like her out of friends not the wierd one oh whats her name oh well she is seeing an aardvark who has a fettish for her problem and ants he says a cure is putting ants up there and letting him suck them out she doesn’t believe him he is fed up with her already so is going to go and find a lion with an apetite or an ants nest he stumbles across one stood next to a giraffe when suddenly my boot lace snaps and his last thought is ‘.....’ I have legged it but the lion has been sick I slip in it and fall into a long deep sleep............. I am dreaming about purple swirls they’ll never sell like warlnut whips but we can always try for another one some other day, I can’t my frog is seeing a reed. Oh well its my only option, I’ll have to be SANE!

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