gotta tread lightly -- W e l c o m e T o Y o u r D i s c u s s i o n B o a r d

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Subject:

gotta tread lightly

Author:
Secular Monkey

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Date Posted: 09:48:04 01/07/02 Mon
In reply to: Brannon 's message, "Re: I can't believe you Brannon!" on 23:21:09 01/05/02 Sat

>No, I am asking why there is a double standard that if
>you belong to that faith you are allowed to say things
>in jest about it but if you don't belong to it and you
>make a comment in jest it is considered discriminative.

Hey, I have a black buddy who has no problem using the work "nigger". If you didn't know him real, real well and used it yourself, he'd prolly beat you stupid. (well, I'd prolly beat him to it). I don't really understand why he uses it himself, but I figure that in some way, he feels he's EARNED the right to use it. Same with another very close friend, who happends to be a Newfie. This guy tells the funniest Newfie jokes. I guess it boils down to if one wants to use himself, or a specific trait of himself, as the subject of ridicule, that's ok, but you better be sure of how he feels about others who bring that trait to focus.

There's a fine line between good-intentioned fun and ridicule. For example, I'm only 5'6". Not very tall, but it's never been a problem for me. I played all-star hockey, rugby, and travelled throughout Western Canada attending invitational karate tournaments. The way I percieve, and the way those close to me percieve my height is a little different than one percieving it simply based on a stereo-type. I can make a joke about it by saying "when you're my height, everybody smells the same". It's funny, in a stereotypical kind of way, but since those who know me well know that the height thing, in reality, isn't a problem, it's ok. If someone I didn't know make a comment or joke about my height, it could be percieved as an insult. Point of view is key. I've "earned" the right to make "short" jokes, 'cause I'm short, myself.

You may be able to pick up on cues from your friends about where the line is drawn between joking and taking liberties with a trait that may make them the minority in the group. If in doubt, shut yer mouth. Best way to be funny without being insulting? Make yourself the brunt of the joke. ;)

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Re: gotta tread lightly

Author:
Brannon
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Date Posted: 13:54:46 01/07/02 Mon

>Hey, I have a black buddy who has no problem using the
>work "nigger". If you didn't know him real, real well
>and used it yourself, he'd prolly beat you stupid.
>(well, I'd prolly beat him to it). I don't really
>understand why he uses it himself, but I figure that
>in some way, he feels he's EARNED the right to use it.
> Same with another very close friend, who happends to
>be a Newfie. This guy tells the funniest Newfie
>jokes. I guess it boils down to if one wants to use
>himself, or a specific trait of himself, as the
>subject of ridicule, that's ok, but you better be sure
>of how he feels about others who bring that trait to
>focus.
>
> There's a fine line between good-intentioned fun and
>ridicule. For example, I'm only 5'6". Not very tall,
>but it's never been a problem for me. I played
>all-star hockey, rugby, and travelled throughout
>Western Canada attending invitational karate
>tournaments. The way I percieve, and the way those
>close to me percieve my height is a little different
>than one percieving it simply based on a stereo-type.
>I can make a joke about it by saying "when you're my
>height, everybody smells the same". It's funny, in a
>stereotypical kind of way, but since those who know me
>well know that the height thing, in reality, isn't a
>problem, it's ok. If someone I didn't know make a
>comment or joke about my height, it could be percieved
>as an insult. Point of view is key. I've "earned"
>the right to make "short" jokes, 'cause I'm short,
>myself.
>
> You may be able to pick up on cues from your friends
>about where the line is drawn between joking and
>taking liberties with a trait that may make them the
>minority in the group. If in doubt, shut yer mouth.
>Best way to be funny without being insulting? Make
>yourself the brunt of the joke. ;)

You make a very good point and I never looked at it from the point of view as, "Here's this guy I never met making jokes about my religion" I wouldn't probably feel as strongly as he did but now that I look at it from his point of view he was in some respects right. I should have watched how strongly I make my jokes. For when you look like me people laughing comes naturally. For I am Brannon master of all that is funny.........looking.

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