Cats and Dogs and Random Acts of Vengeance -- News Addiction Recovery Forum

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2] ]

Subject: Cats and Dogs and Random Acts of Vengeance

Author:
S

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 21:56:53 12/27/01 Thu

What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable
piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block
away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

----------------------------------------------------

I was away from home for four nights. My cats had plenty of food, water, litter, etc to go that long alone, but they had no one to cater to their whims. I came home, though, to a house in much the same shape as I'd left it. They appear to have been pretty low key while I've been gone.

Tonight, however, is a whole new ballgame. They have killed the toilet paper. They have climbed the clothes in the closet. They have knocked things out of the dish rack. They have used my leg for a scratching post. They have puked hair balls onto the carpet. They have sat on plants. No doubt they have done things I have not yet discovered.

Is it just me or do you think they could be a little bitchy about my inconsiderate choice to spend Christmas with my family instead of them?

S

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Cats and Dogs and Random Acts of Vengeance

Author:
aileen
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 22:29:47 12/27/01 Thu

I am dog sitting for my parents this week. Max. The most crotchety schnauzer mix in a polyester coat (he is shiny grayish white like a cheap suit) you ever did see. Usually he barks at everyone but is very respectful of me and my kids. No barking in this house.

I like him because he sits on my feet when I watch tv and keeps the floor in the dining room spotless.

I will probably never have cat or dog of my own - my kids destroy the house enough. Eventually I would like a bird. (I wanted a falcon until I found out they cost in the thousands) ;) I will settle for an australian bush parakeet(they are big snugglers) or a cockatiel (generally a big ham for attention)

[> Subject: The worst part about...
Author: Purrrrrr [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 13:24:09 12/28/01 Fri The worst part about giving a pussy a bath is all the hair that sticks to your tongue?

[> [> Subject: whoaa... mark these adult content or something LOL
Author: my kid just read that one.. I thought it was innocuous [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 13:26:31 12/28/01 Fri

[> [> [> Subject: My bad..
Author: Purrrrrr [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 13:39:59 12/28/01 Fri I meant kitty...

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: My bad..
Author: aileen [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 13:42:51 12/28/01 Fri heh.. usually its obvious which posts are about what.. and I can be discreet but here was my bunchkin reading over my shoulder... I thought I would be readin more cat stories ;) ehehe. No damage it was just a quick reverse ;)