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Date Posted: 13:17:03 04/22/02 Mon
Author: March Hare
Subject: My Two-Dollar Umbrella

I spent two of my last three dollars
On an umbrella a few weeks ago.
And though it kept its promise that day
It has since failed.

Two-Dollar Umbrella
Never opens quite right,
Its spokes are quite bent
And its handle screws off.

Two-Dollar Umbrella
Hardly seems to care;
In fact, it rather enjoys
Being contrary-wise.
It always tries to take to flight,
It doesn't shade me from any day,
And positively refuses to dry.

Today, Two-Dollar Umbrella
Flipped inside and out
Several times, and also allowed
One of the spokes to break,
Causing the metal to tear the cloth,
And a drop of chilly water to fall upon my cheek.
Needless to say, I wasn't amused.

And Two-Dollar Umbrella was.

Because she is useless she is now retired,
After only two days of service to me,
Not to mention a lengthy vacation between these days,
And good pay in addition.
Two dollars for two days,
An expensive lease for such a contrary object.

Two-Dollar Umbrella, I dislike you so.

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