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Date Posted: 16:29:24 05/15/01 Tue
Author: BY7:30
Subject: Venting

At least half of the people I am close to will be married within the next five years-
where does the time go? I mean, God, sometimes it feels like it just won't move fast enough and then others, like when we try to cling to a moment
it seems like it never was, or is hazy, like in a dream . . .
I started high school ten minutes ago
and I'm graduating next year.
My parents are beginning to plan their retirement
and Saturdays are NoT as long as they used to be . . .
same with summers. I can feel my life speeding by.
Mom is asking me if I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend
and the best friends who used to take baths with me
or sleep curled next to me, cuddling in our footed pajamas
give me sideways stares when I walk down the hall
saying I've changed, and I want to strangle them because they are the living dead . . . they forgot how to FEEL me for CHRISTSAKES! Of course I'm changing, don't you see the years being pulled away?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who knows.
I want to sleep in my room with my parents down the hall for the rest of my life
I'm not ready for this adult thing yet, and in a few months I have to deal with it. Yet, at the same time, I don't want to regress. I also don't think I want to stay where I am and it makes me wonder if I'm the living dead since I can't be satisfied where I am sometimes.
All this crazy floating through my head
and people tell me not to think about it too much but what if I never did? Would I be able to enjoy life if I didn't remind myself not to take it for granted??? I'm done. I can't take anymore of this tonight.

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