MORONS AND OTHER HEATHENS, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING? -- Utah's Religion Debate

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Date Posted: 03:11:10 09/17/05 Sat
Author: Brother D. Thomas
Subject: MORONS AND OTHER HEATHENS, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
In reply to: Lord Veritas 's message, "Rants about the "lost gospels" (another exploration of one of Sheepdog's tangents)" on 21:38:13 08/07/05 Sun

A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE

Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing a book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called the book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a new bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for publicity, Smith pretended to have translated The Book of Mormon from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected man no less!

The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of Israelites and others floating to South America, some in giant barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they all turned into Indians, (now we know why the indians had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go of it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off in A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra, New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"

Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground to inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The seer stone became transformed into the biblical "urim and thummin" with which he later claimed he could "translate" any language, including "reformed Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his Jewish Indians supposedly had written their history. A locked box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish American Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!

Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope, Smith would pretend to be translating aloud from the golden plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other side of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for fear he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab, or hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of manuscript had been written. All of it supposedly translated by divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!

This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons) and if you take any further time reading it in its entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought. Who in the hell in their right mind would believe this story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai and Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke. There's a sucker born every minute!

Brother D. Thomas
Always enlightening a cultural Christian!
http://p203.ezboard.com/ftruechristiansunitefrm7

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Replies:

[> [>

Re: MORONS AND JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- BRO.DAVE THOMAS?, 01:17:23 09/23/05 Fri

>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>
>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing a
>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called the
>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a new
>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for publicity,
>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of Mormon
>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected man
>no less!
>
>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of Israelites
>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the indians
>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go of
>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off in
>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra,
>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>
>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground to
>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>seer stone became transformed into the biblical "urim
>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his Jewish
>Indians supposedly had written their history. A locked
>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish American
>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>
>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope, Smith
>would pretend to be translating aloud from the golden
>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other side
>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for fear
>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab, or
>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of manuscript
>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>
>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons) and
>if you take any further time reading it in its
>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe this
>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai and
>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann ellis
>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>Brother D. Thomas
>Always enlightening a cultural Christian!
>http://p203.ezboard.com/ftruechristiansunitefrm7

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[> [> [> Re: MORONS AND JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- BRO._DAVE, 00:06:40 12/21/06 Thu

>>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>>
>>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing a
>>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called the
>>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a new
>>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for publicity,
>>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of Mormon
>>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected man
>>no less!
>>
>>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of Israelites
>>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the indians
>>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go of
>>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off in
>>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra,
>>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>>
>>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground to
>>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>>seer stone became transformed into the biblical "urim
>>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his Jewish
>>Indians supposedly had written their history. A locked
>>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish American
>>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>>
>>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope, Smith
>>would pretend to be translating aloud from the golden
>>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other side
>>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for fear
>>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab, or
>>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of manuscript
>>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>>
>>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons) and
>>if you take any further time reading it in its
>>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe this
>>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai and
>>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann
>ellis
>>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>>Brother D. Thomas. aint tht like a whore?
>>Always enlightening a cultural Christian!
>>http://p203.ezboard.com/ftruechristiansunitefrm7

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[> [> [> [> Re: JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- matthew_vanderpool, 06:05:24 06/28/08 Sat

>>>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>>>
>>>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing a
>>>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>>>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called the
>>>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a
>new
>>>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for publicity,
>>>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of Mormon
>>>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>>>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected
>man
>>>no less!
>>>
>>>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of Israelites
>>>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>>>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>>>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the indians
>>>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>>>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go
>of
>>>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off in
>>>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>>>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra,
>>>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>>>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>>>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>>>
>>>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>>>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>>>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground to
>>>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>>>seer stone became transformed into the biblical "urim
>>>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>>>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>>>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his Jewish
>>>Indians supposedly had written their history. A
>locked
>>>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>>>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish
>American
>>>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>>>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>>>
>>>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>>>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope,
>Smith
>>>would pretend to be translating aloud from the golden
>>>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>>>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other side
>>>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for fear
>>>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab, or
>>>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>>>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of manuscript
>>>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>>>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>>>
>>>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons)
>and
>>>if you take any further time reading it in its
>>>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>>>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe
>this
>>>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>>>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai
>and
>>>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>>>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>>>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>>>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann
>>ellis
>>>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>>>Brother D. Thomas, aint joann ellis a sorry excuse
>>> for a woman giving a missionary drugs for sex
>>> >href="http://p203.ezboard.com/ftruechristiansunitefrm7"
>>http://p203.ezboard.com/ftruechristiansunitefrm7

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[> [> [> [> [> Re: JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- dan (sad), 05:45:22 08/20/11 Sat

>>>>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>>>>
>>>>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing
>a
>>>>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>>>>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called
>the
>>>>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a
>>new
>>>>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for
>publicity,
>>>>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of
>Mormon
>>>>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>>>>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected
>>man
>>>>no less!
>>>>
>>>>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of
>Israelites
>>>>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>>>>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>>>>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the
>indians
>>>>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>>>>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go
>>of
>>>>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off
>in
>>>>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>>>>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near
>Palmyra,
>>>>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>>>>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>>>>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>>>>
>>>>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>>>>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>>>>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground
>to
>>>>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>>>>seer stone became transformed into the biblical
>"urim
>>>>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>>>>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>>>>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his
>Jewish
>>>>Indians supposedly had written their history. A
>>locked
>>>>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>>>>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish
>>American
>>>>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>>>>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>>>>
>>>>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>>>>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope,
>>Smith
>>>>would pretend to be translating aloud from the
>golden
>>>>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>>>>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other
>side
>>>>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for
>fear
>>>>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab,
>or
>>>>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>>>>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of
>manuscript
>>>>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>>>>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>>>>
>>>>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons)
>>and
>>>>if you take any further time reading it in its
>>>>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>>>>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe
>>this
>>>>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>>>>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai
>>and
>>>>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>>>>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>>>>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>>>>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann
>>>ellis
>>>>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>>>>Brother D. Thomas, aint joann ellis a sorry excuse
>>>> for a woman giving a missionary drugs for sex
>>>> joann is is sad

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[> [> [> [> Re: MORONS AND JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- matthew vanderpool (sad), 18:21:26 03/18/11 Fri

>>>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>>>
>>>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing a
>>>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>>>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called the
>>>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a
>new
>>>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for publicity,
>>>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of Mormon
>>>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>>>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected
>man
>>>no less!
>>>
>>>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of Israelites
>>>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>>>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>>>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the indians
>>>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>>>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go
>of
>>>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off in
>>>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>>>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra,
>>>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>>>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>>>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>>>
>>>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>>>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>>>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground to
>>>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>>>seer stone became transformed into the biblical "urim
>>>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>>>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>>>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his Jewish
>>>Indians supposedly had written their history. A
>locked
>>>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>>>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish
>American
>>>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>>>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>>>
>>>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>>>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope,
>Smith
>>>would pretend to be translating aloud from the golden
>>>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>>>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other side
>>>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for fear
>>>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab, or
>>>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>>>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of manuscript
>>>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>>>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>>>
>>>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons)
>and
>>>if you take any further time reading it in its
>>>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>>>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe
>this
>>>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>>>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai
>and
>>>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>>>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>>>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>>>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann
>>ellis
>>>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>>>Brother D. Thomas. aint tht like a whore? well i was fucking her so she is a cheap whore

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[> [> [> [> [> Re: MORONS AND JOANN ELLIS AND MATTHEW VANDERPOOL -- joann (sad), 10:15:55 08/25/12 Sat

>>>>A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
>>>>
>>>>Joseph Smith, got his new religion going by writing
>a
>>>>book known as The Book of Mormon. The book was much
>>>>too dull to make it as a novel. Mark Twain called
>the
>>>>book "chloroform in print" so it was marketed as a
>>new
>>>>bible! H-E-L-L-O? Having quite a flair for
>publicity,
>>>>Smith pretended to have translated The Book of
>Mormon
>>>>from a pile of gold plates dug out of a glacial hill
>>>>in upstate New York with the help of a resurrected
>>man
>>>>no less!
>>>>
>>>>The BOM purports to tell of lost tribes of
>Israelites
>>>>and others floating to South America, some in giant
>>>>barrels, others in a boat. Arriving in America, they
>>>>all turned into Indians, (now we know why the
>indians
>>>>had big noses) built cities, fought wars, received a
>>>>visit from Jesus Christ after he couldn't make a go
>>of
>>>>it in Palestine, and finally killed each other off
>in
>>>>A.D. 421. Shortly before the fatal fight a colossal
>>>>battle allegedly waged at Hill Cumorah, near
>Palmyra,
>>>>New York, a person (angel) appropriately name Moroni
>>>>buried some "golden plates" for Josepth Smith, its
>>>>founder, to find with his magic "seer stone!"
>>>>
>>>>Now the comedy begins. Joseph Smith claimed he had a
>>>>magic "seer stone," a stone with which he could see
>>>>inside hills and beneath the surface of the ground
>to
>>>>inspect for buried treasurers and enchantments! The
>>>>seer stone became transformed into the biblical
>"urim
>>>>and thummin" with which he later claimed he could
>>>>"translate" any language, including "reformed
>>>>Egyptian," the imaginary language in which his
>Jewish
>>>>Indians supposedly had written their history. A
>>locked
>>>>box held what Smith claimed to be the gold plates
>>>>bearing this reformed Egyptian Chaldee Jewish
>>American
>>>>Indian history. Are you believing this thus far? If
>>>>so, the Golden Gate Bridge is still for sale!
>>>>
>>>>Sitting in one-half of a room divided into two
>>>>sections by means of a blanket hung from a rope,
>>Smith
>>>>would pretend to be translating aloud from the
>golden
>>>>plates and would dictate The Book of Mormon to his
>>>>secretary Martin Harris. Harris sat on the other
>side
>>>>of the blanket, afraid to peek at the plates for
>fear
>>>>he would be stricken with the plague, or the scab,
>or
>>>>hemorrhoids, and the botch of Egypt. LOL After many
>>>>days of such inventive labor, 116 pages of
>manuscript
>>>>had been written. All of it supposedly translated by
>>>>divine guidance by means of the magical seer stone!
>>>>
>>>>This is the foundation of the BOM (Book of Morons)
>>and
>>>>if you take any further time reading it in its
>>>>entirety, then you are more lonely than we thought.
>>>>Who in the hell in their right mind would believe
>>this
>>>>story? LOL!! You've got to be pretty gullible to
>>>>swallow such a history! Our history of Mount Sinai
>>and
>>>>Moses, Noahan deluge, parting of the Red Sea, the
>>>>celestial impregnation of Mary, et al, is certainly
>>>>more plausable than the Book of Mormon. What a joke.
>>>>There's a sucker born every minute!look at joann
>>>ellis
>>>>as well as matthew vanderpool. drugs for sex
>>>>Brother D. Thomas. aint tht like a whore? well i
>was fucking her so she is a cheap whore

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[> [> Anyone else annoyed by this Ellis guy?? -- MyLadyBanshee, 20:04:33 09/29/05 Thu

If he's banned, how does he mannage to come back like that??

By the way, I did a number check on the number listed in that post by "joann ellis" and it is listed to a Darrell Ellis...what a joke!!

Banshee

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[> [> [> Re: Anyone else annoyed by this Ellis woman -- terri, 00:49:21 10/09/05 Sun

>If he's banned, how does he mannage to come back like
>that??
>
>By the way, I did a number check on the number listed
>in that post by "joann ellis" and it is listed to a
>joann ellis
>
>Banshee

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[> [> [> Re: Anyone else annoyed by this Ellis woman?? -- donna gail (sicking), 23:44:13 10/02/07 Tue

>If she's banned, how does he mannage to come back like
>that??
>
>By the way, I did a number check on the number listed
>in that post by "joann ellis" and it is listed to a
>joann Ellis...what a joke!!
>she.s a sicko
>Banshee

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[> [> [> Re: Anyone else annoyed by this Ellis woman??? -- banshee, 01:14:40 07/05/08 Sat

>If he's banned, how does she mannage to come back like
>that??
>
>By the way, I did a number check on the number listed
>in that post by "joann ellis" and it is listed to a
>joann. Ellis...what a joke!!
>a cheap whore byany standwards
>Banshee

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