Kids and Church -- Adilbrand Noblesword's Hall of Warriors

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Date Posted: 16:19:14 02/06/02 Wed
Author: BAD
Subject: Kids and Church

Kids and Church

>> > > >> 1. A Sunday school teacher asked her little
children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One
bright little girl replied, "Because
people are sleeping.

>> > > >> 2. The preacher was wired for sound with a
lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about
the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then
he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several
circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew
leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets
loose, will he hurt us?"

>> > > >> 3. Six-year old Angie and her four-year old
brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel
giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big
sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out
loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel
asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and
said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're
hushers."

>> > > >> 4. My grandson was visiting one day when he
asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are
alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked "No,
how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

>> > > >> 5. A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her
grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about
the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by
asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The
virgin Mary or the King James virgin?"

>> > > >> 6. A Sunday school class was studying the
Ten
Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's
wife.

>> > > >> 7. I had been teaching my three-year old
daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several
evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the
lines of the prayer. Finally, she decided to go
solo. I listened with pride as she carefully
enunciated each word, right up to the end of the
prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."

>> > > >> 8. A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two
steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the
crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went,step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the
way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was
near tears from laughing so hard by the time he
reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was
getting more and more distressed from all the
laughing, and was also near tears by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the
child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

>> > > >> 9. One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young
child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally,
the father picked the little fellow up and walked
sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before
reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one
yelled loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray
for me!"

>> > > >> 10. And one particular four-year old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those
who put trash in our baskets."

>> > > >> 11. A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry
about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

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