On the Fetts -- Adilbrand Noblesword's Hall of Warriors

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Date Posted: 17:08:42 07/02/02 Tue
Author: mt. healthy mountaineer
Subject: On the Fetts

As I was stocking the shelves at my local Target (my summer job) I stocked a very expesive Lego Jango Fett toy and it suddenly hit me that although I've always thought that Boba Fett was cool, really the Fetts were the biggest dorks of the Star Wars series, and here's the reasons why:

-Jango can't complete any of his jobs, except for donating genetic material:

a) can't get the Senator killed;
b) can't kill Obi Wan
c) can't survive long enough to raise Boba properly.

-Jango is the only major character to die in the big battle scene.

-Jango's genes go to make Stormtroopers, which means he is genetically disposed to be a very bad shot since they miss just about every rebel they shoot at.

-Boba can't catch Han Solo - Darth Vader has to do it for him.

-Boba gets killed by an immobile animal on a desert planet, despite the fact he can fly.

The only thing the Fetts have going for them is cool clothes, and Boba took those from his "dad".

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