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Date Posted: 18:16:34 08/30/02 Fri
Author: Jason
Subject: Funny stuff
In reply to: Danny 's message, "Boomer Bevo!" on 20:29:48 08/27/02 Tue

Someone showed me these predictions from sportingpress.com. My favorite is the part about OU linebacker Teddy Lehman, in relation to how the OU coaches and ESPN guys say he runs the 40 in under 4.3 (why not use him at RB then, since they don't have one?).... anyway, funny stuff on both UT and OU.

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OU/Tulsa

OU will win 3-0 in Tulsa. OU's defense is led by Teddy Lehman, who runs a 1/2 second 40-yard dash. Lehman makes 190 tackles and 50 sacks in the first half due to his blazing speed. The totals are so high because he's so fast, he tackles people twice instead of once on every play plus he tackles his own teammates sometimes, which the OU stat keepers also count toward his totals. Bob Stoops will look pained on the sideline and yell a lot while Mike Stoops' head will actually explode when one of his defensive backs doesn't decapitate a Tulsa WR hard enough. OU's offense is crippled by the fact that Trent Smith keeps vomiting on himself thinking about the color burnt orange. Tommie Harris will take a massive shit all over Tulsa's offensive backfield all day. The words "Boomer Sooner" will be spoken 999,632,880,311,476,109 times in the Tulsa city limits on Saturday. Much beer will be consumed by spittle-spewing fans who were one day away from beating their wives waiting for college football season to finally start. These fans will be wearing "wife beater" style t-shirts underneath their crimson OU t-shirts.

Texas/NTexas

First, I predict that the game will actually be played in Austin, not Denton. I predict that UT will NEVER play a game in Denton, Texas. Second, Texas will win 50-13. Both Cedric Benson and Selvin Young will rush for at least 100 yards, and Simms will throw for 350 with 6 picks, a fumble and a postgame interview, where he will say the word "team" at least 5 times. Mack Brown's post game comments will include the phrases "We did a real good job" and "give North Texas a lot of credit" and "our fans were great." The UT cheerleaders will be smokin' hot and Bevo will look somewhat drugged, yet ornery. Small children wearing face paint will be caught on camera doing the "Hook'em Horns" hand thing. Much beer will be consumed by spittle-spewing fans who were one day away from beating their wives waiting for college football season to finally start. These fans will be wearing Hanes t-shirts underneath their burnt orange Nike UT polo style shirts.

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