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Date Posted: 12:58:38 02/22/02 Fri
Author: Steve
Subject: Re: Question for you all:
In reply to: Charlie 's message, "Question for you all:" on 12:11:31 02/02/02 Sat

Charlie,

When I was growing up my dad was always at night school or work so we (my sister and I) didn't see much of him. Our mom took us everywhere and did all kinds of things with us instead. I never got into sports, and never (to this day) have developed a liking for sports, although I love male athletes. I don't know if not having a male role model had anything to do with this. After graduating from school my dad and I became adversaries as we tended to disagree on most everything and only spoke to each other when we had to. It took almost 35 years for us to become civil to each other and be able to hold a normal (more than one sentence / word conversations). Now we talk regularly, but I often wonder what it would be like if we had a normal father / son relationship. I understood why he didn't have time for us, because he was trying his best to keep the family afloat financially.

As an adult I have mentored several boys from broken homes or dysfunctional families and see how desperately these boys crave attention from a male (NON SEXUAL) attention. I was actually sought out by several of these boys as I was already friends with their older brothers. The age that I notice they seem to seek male bonding is at around 12 -13. Please give that boy the attention he needs, whether he is aware of it or not. Had I been a predator, only God knows what could have happened to those boys. Two of them I actually raised from ages 13- 19. I am simply delighted now that I see them as well adjusted young men, some now married, some still single. All of them seemed to know I was gay although the subject was never brought up. They only realized because I never dated a female.

These young men often need or want someone of the same sex as a role model as well as a friend and confidant. Please be there for them and for God's sake. DO NOT TAKE ADVANATAGE OF THEIR NEED FOR MALE BONDING OR MISTAKE IT FOR SEXUAL DESIRE!! Boys this age are often open to this type of thing so don't take advantage of the situation. If any of you do I hope you end up in JAIL!

Back to the matter at hand... please be there for them ESPECIALLY during the early teen to young adult ages. They need a male in their lives whether they admit to it or not.

Steve

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Replies:

  • Re: Question for you all: -- PerryD, 16:11:41 03/27/02 Wed
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