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Date Posted: 04:25:30 04/04/02 Thu
Author: Zora
Subject: Re: a few short stories
In reply to: Golden Ghost 's message, "a few short stories" on 11:05:17 04/01/02 Mon

LOL! These are hilarious! I hope they were *meant* to be funny... I like your sense of irony and the tinge of anarchy in each of these. The bit about Mike and the tiny willie made me laugh out loud and distract my colleagues (I'm reading in the office - naughty me)

Stylistically, the stories could stand a bit of editing without losing their (your) 'voice'. You need to watch out for spelling errors ['leafs were swirling around his feat' should be 'leaves were swirling around his feet'] and fragmentation of sentences. This sentence: 'As if they knew he would stop.' starts a new paragraph, and it's a fragment, which would be wierd even if it was in the SAME para., and is totally confusing at the beginning of one.

That aside, I really enjoyed these stories and the way it felt like absolutely anything could happen. Well done!

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