Re: Defend the Temple! -- Scribbler's Corner

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Date Posted: 02:21:40 04/14/02 Sun
Author: Zora
Subject: Re: Defend the Temple!
In reply to: Rhyevaln 's message, "Defend the Temple!" on 15:42:07 04/12/02 Fri

Rhyevaln (great name BTW)

What kind of feedback are you looking for on this? It's an interesting premise and you seem to have thought through the scenario and characters well. It's a bit hard to comment on it overall though as it doesn't come to any kind of conclusion - presume there is more to come?

I found the long section of dialogue hard to follow as it wasn't always immediately clear who was speaking - writer's books tend to recommend that you not have more than 3 lines of dialogue without some prose to break it up and make sure the reader is still with you - of course a good writer can throw the rule book away but perhaps the piece could gain something from a little re-working.

Looking forward to seeing the rest of the story

Z.

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