Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ] |
| Subject: short story- More Than Anything | |
|
Author: Gina Z. |
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 15:43:45 05/09/02 Thu I'll let u know now I'm thinking about changing the ending. When I finished it it was 1 AM and I was exhausted. Lemme know what u think. More Than Anything By Gina Z. Joey let out a small sigh which was only audible to himself as he poured the bag of steaming hot popcorn into a bowl. He glanced at the wall clock in the kitchen, four am. The sun would be coming up soon. The entertainer yawned and yawned big, and shoveling the handfuls of popcorn into his mouth, he began to fantasize about all of the sleep he could've been getting at that moment. The keyword was could've. In the past three days, Joey was almost sure he'd only averaged about an hour and a half of sleep. He'd planned on catching up on that cold December night, but a good friend had other plans. This good friend needed him. Joey slowly made his way into the vast living room of his house with very sleepy, tired steps. The more time that went by the harder he found it to keep his eyes open, but the harder he ended up fighting it. Sure, he was severely underslept and they'd all had a rough few days, but it would be rude of him not to be there. He could never recall a time when his friends weren't there for him, so he wasn't going to turn his back anytime soon. Trying to be quiet so he wouldn't interrupt the movie playing on the big screen, he lightly set the bowl down on the glass table in between the couches and sat down. He didn't know how, but Justin was wide awake. He was the worst off out of everybody, he hadn't slept at all in the three days that'd passed. Justin remained in the same position he'd been in for nearly two hours. His body language was stiff, and his face was nearly emotionless. Joey watched him watch the movie for a few seconds. He waited for Justin to say anything. "You okay man?" he finally questioned once he realized it was a no go. He heard the movie go on in the background, but he waited for an answer from Justin. Once again, things remained silent. Justin simply shook his head. He realized that Justin's new favorite thing was one word answers. They were short, simple, and to the point. He found them as an easy way out. If he didn't use a one word answer, he'd resort to plan B. The head shake. More than often it was a small subtle nod. Watching for a reaction had now turned into a game of wheres waldo; if you didn't pay close attention you'd swear he wasn't even there. Each of the guys swore that they wouldn't let him by like that anymore, but lately it'd seemed as if nobody cared. Joey was the exception. For the past three days, Joey had been the one taking care of Justin like only a big brother could. It's not that the others didn't want to bother because Joey knew damn well that Lance, Chris, and JC cared. It was just that when Justin came knocking, Joey somehow found himself with him. He didn't mind the added company, even with Justin in the emotional state he was in it was still nice to have him around. He was just impossible to mediate with. To add to the guys not caring thing, JC had just called the house while Joey was making popcorn to check in on the youngest member of the group. So they did care. Joey tried once more to renew the conversation. "Justin?" he blurted in a general tone. Justin remained the same, his eyes focused on the television as he ate popcorn. "Hmm," Justin grunted in return. Granted it was a reaction, but it was no surprise. If Justin was going to react to anything at all, that was how he responded. It came as nothing new, but for the past twenty four hours, Joey was trying to get Justin to open up. It was happening little by little. All in due time. Joey let out a breath in a long, loud sigh, knowing that none of this was Justin's fault. He knew he just had to be there; he just had to be patient. "I just asked you something," he began, his voice caring yet rigid. He was determined to get the old Justin back, "I asked if you were okay." Justin was not very emotionally stimulated. In fact, emotion had been one word almost completely wiped from Justin's vocabulary. Running his fingers through his hair, Justin continued to watch the movie and eat popcorn, only he shifted the blue blanket that lay across his waist to cover everything from his shoulders down. Joey's apartment seemed unusually cold. He didn't mean to be rude, and he hoped that the guys would know him well enough to the point that if he was different emotionally, he wasn't doing it intentionally. It was just that, ever since it happened, he just didn't feel the need to be the same. "If I'm okay? Well, I'm no better than I was yesterday and I'm no worse than I was yesterday either," he scorned, not meaning to be rude but sounding it within his words. Once again, it was a patience thing. Joey knew that if he was inconsiderate to Justin's feelings at that time that he'd never be the same. He understood that if Justin said anything mean to him, chances were he did not mean it. That was what being a friend was all about, right? Understanding. Joey found himself repeating the word "patience" to himself over and over in his head. Much to his surprise, it almost seemed to work. Yawning, Joey put his hands up defensively like a criminal. "Hey, just asking man," Joey responded, his voice in the most calm and patient tone it could possibly be in. Killing his friend with kindness would be more effective than simply blowing up in his face. Not that Joey was even considering that- believe me he would never- he was just trying to make a point. Technically, Justin was still in a state of denial. It'd only been three days, and given the fact that he hadn't slept a wink since, and aside from the popcorn he ate with Joey- a slice of pizza and a small bowl of Apple Jacks were the only things that he'd eaten in seventy two hours, Justin was not in the best of shape. Not to mention that his denial was mixed in with a ton of heartache. Also, he ended up throwing up the bowl of cereal only hours after eating it. He was just in some bad, bad shape. Joey sighed, giving up for the time being and continuing to watch the movie. The movie, one that would only make the heartache worse, was not one of Joey's favorites to say the least. But hey, Justin wanted to rent it. Actually, after talking to one of Johnny's best friends, Linda, he found out that letting Justin do what he wanted (within limits) was actually the best possible thing to do for him. She said that somehow he'd eventually find an inner peace in whatever he did. Of course, Joey didn't understand, but whatever worked. Justin continued to eat his popcorn. Joey took in a deep breath, running his fingers through his messed hair. He tugged on the ends of his blue Superman shirt before reaching behind him for a red blanket made of the same material as Justin's. No matter how high the heat was in Joey's apartment, the cold air from outside always managed to find a way in. In fact, Justin was so cold he was nearly shivering, but Joey wasn't quite sure if that was what it was from. Joey yawned one more time, and as he leaned his head back on the couch, he was nearly tempted to go to sleep. The idea of that, however, was quickly shaken. The thought of leaving Justin alone with himself scared him at a time like that. Hours before, around about eleven pm, Lance and Chris had called from the recording studio. Of course, they were checking in much like JC, and Joey just told them the same thing. Justin was fine, still quiet, hardly eating, the same as before. He didn't want them to worry. The youngest member of the group hadn't even been outside of Joey's apartment in a good forty-eight hours. This was considered a good thing, though. When the two did call, they did report sightings of the tabloid field day over what happened. As if the movie didn't split his heart in two. The sight of a tabloid would just destroy him if he were to see one then. At that odd moment in time, Joey was almost glad to be keeping Justin sheltered from the public. It wasn't like Justin didn't want to hide, anyways. Joey turned to his friend once more. "Do you want to talk?" he proposed, watching as the movie hit a quite stupid part. This time it only took one attempt at the question. Just as fast as Joey asked, Justin answered. He shook his head. "Nope." Joey tried once more. "Are you sure?" Justin nodded. "Yes." "Do you want me to turn off the movie?" Justin contemplated that for a second. Then, he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care." Justin snapped, not even bothering to look at Joey for the entire duration they spoke. Joey sighed, he knew to be patient, but this was just getting to him to much. He leaned his head back on the couch, knowing that this time he would not give in to sleep. "You don't care." Joey repeated his friend, trying not to sound sarcastic but immediately catching himself when he did. Justin still remained the same, stiff and emotionless, eating popcorn and watching the movie without a care. It was awful. Justin had been taking care of himself with the exception of not eating right. He was showering, changing clothes, regular hygiene things. The only thing that bothered Joey about Justin then was his unbrushed hair and his lack of emotion. One would think by then that Joey would've been used to that. Justin said nothing as his response to Joey. He did, however, shake his head. Joey huffed, "Justin, can I ask you something?" Justin was quick to nod. "Oh I love this part. Okay yeah, go ahead." he spoke, acting like what Joey had to say was insignificant. The movie played on, and for a moment there Justin thought he was just going to tune him out. Joey huffed again, this time making it louder than the other. Suddenly, Joey reached forward, snatched the remote from the glass table in between the couches, and turned the movie all the way down so Justin's attention would be in the right place. Justin turned to face him immediately, "hey! I was watching that!" he complained, reaching out to grasp the remote from Joey's hand. Joey was quick to move the remote out of the way. He shook his head. "I don't care." he remarked sharply in response, proceeding to press the proper buttons to make the movie disappear from the screen. When the images suddenly vanished, Justin didn't know what to do. The regular Justin would've jumped up and said something, or would have joked around about it or done something. This Justin just didn't have it in him. He didn't have the energy to shout, or stand up, or try and snatch the remote, he just didn't have it in him. Instead of retaliating, Justin retreated back behind the blanket. His voice grew soft, and Joey wondered what was going on when Justin hung his head. "Joey," he spoke his name low, almost in a whisper. He felt like he was going to explode, "what are you trying to do?" he questioned, moving on to sit back against the arm of the couch, his hands on his head. It'd now come to the point that they were watching each other for their reactions. Joey moistened his chapped lips and explained. It took him a few seconds to gather his thoughts and choose the right words. He knew that Justin needed his time to get over what happened, but at the same time it just killed him to see one of his best friends- brothers-like this. Even in the past, Justin had never been in the state of mind he was in then. He could hardly stand it, Justin was just beating himself up on the inside. Joey could feel it. He took in a deep breath, and began to explain. "I'm not-trying to do anything. I turned off the movie for a reason, not because you were watching it. I know you've seen it a million times and I know you've got a copy at your place, but I'm trying to talk to you, and you're oblivious to what's going on." Justin rested his head against the headrest, pursed his eyes together for a few seconds, and opened them again. Cradling a pillow between his arms and his lap, he let out a quivering sigh. It wasn't easy to fight back tears, but somehow Justin managed. He was tough; therefore, he was going to defend himself. "It's a tough time for me right now." was all he said. Or, all he managed to say. Joey knew this, and he wasn't insensitive to that at all. He took it straight to heart and tried to understand what Justin was going through. It was a seperate point he was trying to make, but Justin was having a hard time comprehending that too. Joey nodded his head, completely understanding every word out of Justin's mouth. "And believe me, I understand that. It's a tough time for all of us right now. We know you were the most effected by what happened, but what's so tough for us is to see you like this. It kills us everyday to know that you're hurting inside. We know you look fine on the outside, but you're kickin' yourself on the inside. We know, we've all been through it before." he explained, trying to empathize with his emotional friend. Justin hung his head low once more, but this time, as he raised it again, two lone tears came flowing down each cheek. Fighting back the tears just wasn't working, it was best to let it all out. The only thing Justin was fighting now was choking back the sobs. Crying was okay, he just didn't want to sob hysterically in front of Joey. Justin shook his head, disagreeing with what he'd said as he wiped away the tears. "No man, you haven't," Justin counterpointed, avoiding eye contact at all costs to wipe away his tears. It was useless, more appeared as others fell. Joey's face was frozen. Now, for the first time in three days Justin was beginning to show true emotion. It was quite refreshing, "You haven't been in love like I have. Dammit Joey, I'm not watching Crossroads at 4:30 in the morning for the damn hell of it! I miss her, she's everything to me! I-I really do not know what the hell I'd do without her!" he cried. Joey just wanted to stand up and applaud Justin. It was about damn time he opened up to one of them. He nodded his head in eager agreement. "See! This is good, Justin, you're opening up! It hurts when you bottle everything inside, but don't you think you should be telling her all these things?" he suggested kindly. When Justin shook his head in instant disapproval, the last puzzle piece was put into place. "No. I love her more than anything in this world, but I don't want to hurt her..." [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Re: short story- More Than Anything | Kira | 11:15:52 05/10/02 Fri |
| Re: short story- More Than Anything | Chipmunk | 13:17:53 05/10/02 Fri |
|
Forum timezone: GMT-8 VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB: Before posting please read our privacy policy. VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems. Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved. |