Re: short story- More Than Anything -- The Realm Of NSYNC Fiction

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Subject: Re: short story- More Than Anything

Author:
Kira

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Date Posted: 11:15:52 05/10/02 Fri
In reply to: Gina Z. 's message, "short story- More Than Anything" on 15:43:45 05/09/02 Thu

That was great. Poor Justin. I really liked it. Go Gina! :)

>More Than Anything
>By Gina Z.
>
>Joey let out a small sigh which was only audible to
>himself as he poured the bag of steaming hot popcorn
>into a bowl. He glanced at the wall clock in the
>kitchen, four am. The sun would be coming up soon. The
>entertainer yawned and yawned big, and shoveling the
>handfuls of popcorn into his mouth, he began to
>fantasize about all of the sleep he could've been
>getting at that moment. The keyword was could've. In
>the past three days, Joey was almost sure he'd only
>averaged about an hour and a half of sleep. He'd
>planned on catching up on that cold December night,
>but a good friend had other plans. This good friend
>needed him.
>
>Joey slowly made his way into the vast living room of
>his house with very sleepy, tired steps. The more time
>that went by the harder he found it to keep his eyes
>open, but the harder he ended up fighting it. Sure, he
>was severely underslept and they'd all had a rough few
>days, but it would be rude of him not to be there. He
>could never recall a time when his friends weren't
>there for him, so he wasn't going to turn his back
>anytime soon. Trying to be quiet so he wouldn't
>interrupt the movie playing on the big screen, he
>lightly set the bowl down on the glass table in
>between the couches and sat down. He didn't know how,
>but Justin was wide awake. He was the worst off out of
>everybody, he hadn't slept at all in the three days
>that'd passed. Justin remained in the same position
>he'd been in for nearly two hours. His body language
>was stiff, and his face was nearly emotionless. Joey
>watched him watch the movie for a few seconds. He
>waited for Justin to say anything.
>
>"You okay man?" he finally questioned once he realized
>it was a no go. He heard the movie go on in the
>background, but he waited for an answer from Justin.
>Once again, things remained silent. Justin simply
>shook his head. He realized that Justin's new favorite
>thing was one word answers. They were short, simple,
>and to the point. He found them as an easy way out. If
>he didn't use a one word answer, he'd resort to plan
>B. The head shake. More than often it was a small
>subtle nod. Watching for a reaction had now turned
>into a game of wheres waldo; if you didn't pay close
>attention you'd swear he wasn't even there. Each of
>the guys swore that they wouldn't let him by like that
>anymore, but lately it'd seemed as if nobody cared.
>Joey was the exception.
>
>For the past three days, Joey had been the one taking
>care of Justin like only a big brother could. It's not
>that the others didn't want to bother because Joey
>knew damn well that Lance, Chris, and JC cared. It was
>just that when Justin came knocking, Joey somehow
>found himself with him. He didn't mind the added
>company, even with Justin in the emotional state he
>was in it was still nice to have him around. He was
>just impossible to mediate with. To add to the guys
>not caring thing, JC had just called the house while
>Joey was making popcorn to check in on the youngest
>member of the group. So they did care. Joey tried once
>more to renew the conversation.
>
>"Justin?" he blurted in a general tone. Justin
>remained the same, his eyes focused on the television
>as he ate popcorn.
>
>"Hmm," Justin grunted in return. Granted it was a
>reaction, but it was no surprise. If Justin was going
>to react to anything at all, that was how he
>responded. It came as nothing new, but for the past
>twenty four hours, Joey was trying to get Justin to
>open up. It was happening little by little. All in due
>time. Joey let out a breath in a long, loud sigh,
>knowing that none of this was Justin's fault. He knew
>he just had to be there; he just had to be patient.
>
>"I just asked you something," he began, his voice
>caring yet rigid. He was determined to get the old
>Justin back, "I asked if you were okay."
>
>Justin was not very emotionally stimulated. In fact,
>emotion had been one word almost completely wiped from
>Justin's vocabulary. Running his fingers through his
>hair, Justin continued to watch the movie and eat
>popcorn, only he shifted the blue blanket that lay
>across his waist to cover everything from his
>shoulders down. Joey's apartment seemed unusually
>cold. He didn't mean to be rude, and he hoped that the
>guys would know him well enough to the point that if
>he was different emotionally, he wasn't doing it
>intentionally. It was just that, ever since it
>happened, he just didn't feel the need to be the same.
>
>"If I'm okay? Well, I'm no better than I was yesterday
>and I'm no worse than I was yesterday either," he
>scorned, not meaning to be rude but sounding it within
>his words. Once again, it was a patience thing. Joey
>knew that if he was inconsiderate to Justin's feelings
>at that time that he'd never be the same. He
>understood that if Justin said anything mean to him,
>chances were he did not mean it. That was what being a
>friend was all about, right? Understanding. Joey found
>himself repeating the word "patience" to himself over
>and over in his head. Much to his surprise, it almost
>seemed to work. Yawning, Joey put his hands up
>defensively like a criminal.
>
>"Hey, just asking man," Joey responded, his voice in
>the most calm and patient tone it could possibly be
>in. Killing his friend with kindness would be more
>effective than simply blowing up in his face. Not that
>Joey was even considering that- believe me he would
>never- he was just trying to make a point.
>Technically, Justin was still in a state of denial.
>It'd only been three days, and given the fact that he
>hadn't slept a wink since, and aside from the popcorn
>he ate with Joey- a slice of pizza and a small bowl of
>Apple Jacks were the only things that he'd eaten in
>seventy two hours, Justin was not in the best of
>shape. Not to mention that his denial was mixed in
>with a ton of heartache. Also, he ended up throwing up
>the bowl of cereal only hours after eating it. He was
>just in some bad, bad shape. Joey sighed, giving up
>for the time being and continuing to watch the movie.
>
>The movie, one that would only make the heartache
>worse, was not one of Joey's favorites to say the
>least. But hey, Justin wanted to rent it. Actually,
>after talking to one of Johnny's best friends, Linda,
>he found out that letting Justin do what he wanted
>(within limits) was actually the best possible thing
>to do for him. She said that somehow he'd eventually
>find an inner peace in whatever he did. Of course,
>Joey didn't understand, but whatever worked. Justin
>continued to eat his popcorn. Joey took in a deep
>breath, running his fingers through his messed hair.
>He tugged on the ends of his blue Superman shirt
>before reaching behind him for a red blanket made of
>the same material as Justin's. No matter how high the
>heat was in Joey's apartment, the cold air from
>outside always managed to find a way in. In fact,
>Justin was so cold he was nearly shivering, but Joey
>wasn't quite sure if that was what it was from. Joey
>yawned one more time, and as he leaned his head back
>on the couch, he was nearly tempted to go to sleep.
>The idea of that, however, was quickly shaken. The
>thought of leaving Justin alone with himself scared
>him at a time like that.
>
>Hours before, around about eleven pm, Lance and Chris
>had called from the recording studio. Of course, they
>were checking in much like JC, and Joey just told them
>the same thing. Justin was fine, still quiet, hardly
>eating, the same as before. He didn't want them to
>worry. The youngest member of the group hadn't even
>been outside of Joey's apartment in a good forty-eight
>hours. This was considered a good thing, though. When
>the two did call, they did report sightings of the
>tabloid field day over what happened. As if the movie
>didn't split his heart in two. The sight of a tabloid
>would just destroy him if he were to see one then. At
>that odd moment in time, Joey was almost glad to be
>keeping Justin sheltered from the public. It wasn't
>like Justin didn't want to hide, anyways. Joey turned
>to his friend once more.
>
>"Do you want to talk?" he proposed, watching as the
>movie hit a quite stupid part. This time it only took
>one attempt at the question. Just as fast as Joey
>asked, Justin answered. He shook his head.
>
>"Nope." Joey tried once more.
>
>"Are you sure?" Justin nodded.
>
>"Yes."
>
>"Do you want me to turn off the movie?" Justin
>contemplated that for a second. Then, he shrugged his
>shoulders.
>
>"I don't care." Justin snapped, not even bothering to
>look at Joey for the entire duration they spoke. Joey
>sighed, he knew to be patient, but this was just
>getting to him to much. He leaned his head back on the
>couch, knowing that this time he would not give in to
>sleep.
>
>"You don't care." Joey repeated his friend, trying not
>to sound sarcastic but immediately catching himself
>when he did. Justin still remained the same, stiff and
>emotionless, eating popcorn and watching the movie
>without a care. It was awful. Justin had been taking
>care of himself with the exception of not eating
>right. He was showering, changing clothes, regular
>hygiene things. The only thing that bothered Joey
>about Justin then was his unbrushed hair and his lack
>of emotion. One would think by then that Joey would've
>been used to that. Justin said nothing as his response
>to Joey. He did, however, shake his head. Joey huffed,
>"Justin, can I ask you something?" Justin was quick to
>nod.
>
>"Oh I love this part. Okay yeah, go ahead." he spoke,
>acting like what Joey had to say was insignificant.
>The movie played on, and for a moment there Justin
>thought he was just going to tune him out. Joey huffed
>again, this time making it louder than the other.
>Suddenly, Joey reached forward, snatched the remote
>from the glass table in between the couches, and
>turned the movie all the way down so Justin's
>attention would be in the right place. Justin turned
>to face him immediately, "hey! I was watching that!"
>he complained, reaching out to grasp the remote from
>Joey's hand. Joey was quick to move the remote out of
>the way. He shook his head.
>
>"I don't care." he remarked sharply in response,
>proceeding to press the proper buttons to make the
>movie disappear from the screen. When the images
>suddenly vanished, Justin didn't know what to do. The
>regular Justin would've jumped up and said something,
>or would have joked around about it or done something.
>This Justin just didn't have it in him. He didn't have
>the energy to shout, or stand up, or try and snatch
>the remote, he just didn't have it in him. Instead of
>retaliating, Justin retreated back behind the blanket.
>His voice grew soft, and Joey wondered what was going
>on when Justin hung his head.
>
>"Joey," he spoke his name low, almost in a whisper. He
>felt like he was going to explode, "what are you
>trying to do?" he questioned, moving on to sit back
>against the arm of the couch, his hands on his head.
>It'd now come to the point that they were watching
>each other for their reactions. Joey moistened his
>chapped lips and explained. It took him a few seconds
>to gather his thoughts and choose the right words. He
>knew that Justin needed his time to get over what
>happened, but at the same time it just killed him to
>see one of his best friends- brothers-like this. Even
>in the past, Justin had never been in the state of
>mind he was in then. He could hardly stand it, Justin
>was just beating himself up on the inside. Joey could
>feel it. He took in a deep breath, and began to
>explain.
>
>"I'm not-trying to do anything. I turned off the movie
>for a reason, not because you were watching it. I know
>you've seen it a million times and I know you've got a
>copy at your place, but I'm trying to talk to you, and
>you're oblivious to what's going on." Justin rested
>his head against the headrest, pursed his eyes
>together for a few seconds, and opened them again.
>Cradling a pillow between his arms and his lap, he let
>out a quivering sigh. It wasn't easy to fight back
>tears, but somehow Justin managed. He was tough;
>therefore, he was going to defend himself.
>
>"It's a tough time for me right now." was all he said.
>Or, all he managed to say. Joey knew this, and he
>wasn't insensitive to that at all. He took it straight
>to heart and tried to understand what Justin was going
>through. It was a seperate point he was trying to
>make, but Justin was having a hard time comprehending
>that too. Joey nodded his head, completely
>understanding every word out of Justin's mouth.
>
>"And believe me, I understand that. It's a tough time
>for all of us right now. We know you were the most
>effected by what happened, but what's so tough for us
>is to see you like this. It kills us everyday to know
>that you're hurting inside. We know you look fine on
>the outside, but you're kickin' yourself on the
>inside. We know, we've all been through it before." he
>explained, trying to empathize with his emotional
>friend. Justin hung his head low once more, but this
>time, as he raised it again, two lone tears came
>flowing down each cheek. Fighting back the tears just
>wasn't working, it was best to let it all out. The
>only thing Justin was fighting now was choking back
>the sobs. Crying was okay, he just didn't want to sob
>hysterically in front of Joey. Justin shook his head,
>disagreeing with what he'd said as he wiped away the
>tears.
>
>"No man, you haven't," Justin counterpointed, avoiding
>eye contact at all costs to wipe away his tears. It
>was useless, more appeared as others fell. Joey's face
>was frozen. Now, for the first time in three days
>Justin was beginning to show true emotion. It was
>quite refreshing, "You haven't been in love like I
>have. Dammit Joey, I'm not watching Crossroads at 4:30
>in the morning for the damn hell of it! I miss her,
>she's everything to me! I-I really do not know what
>the hell I'd do without her!" he cried. Joey just
>wanted to stand up and applaud Justin. It was about
>damn time he opened up to one of them. He nodded his
>head in eager agreement.
>
>"See! This is good, Justin, you're opening up! It
>hurts when you bottle everything inside, but don't you
>think you should be telling her all these things?" he
>suggested kindly. When Justin shook his head in
>instant disapproval, the last puzzle piece was put
>into place.
>
>"No. I love her more than anything in this world, but
>I don't want to hurt her..."

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Subject	Author	Date
Re: short story- More Than Anything	Chipmunk	13:17:53 05/10/02 Fri