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Date Posted: 16:53:27 11/09/02 Sat
Author: The Serpent
Subject: Don't hate the media, become the media!

Here we are at the gates of the great and powerful Oz, and we have come for your children!

We are the real Politically Incorrect. Our lives are not Charmed, we work for a living. When was the last time you admitted we even exist? Rossanne? Taxi? Sanford and Son? ..

... Ah, Jerry Springer.

Our kids are not GAP kids. Our young people are not Teenage Witches, nor are they Clueless to the fact that they neither have nor want anything in common with Dawson's Creek, Popular, or spoiled white rich babies - 90210.

We see no difference between Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and Ronald McDonald. We will not knuckle under to your devious children's programming, who's soul message is to buy ever more officially over priced merchandise and toys. And the relentless branding of little kids, to the point where they're teased and austresized at school cuz the logo on their shirt don't match the logo on their shoes. Or, worse yet, their moms' can't afford those expensive Tommy brand-name clothes in the first place.

And we will not let Campbell's Soup, Old Navy, Mtv, or anyone else hammer into the minds of girls as young as six years old that they should always hate their bodies and always be on a diet.

The people own the air waves. Remember?

The Life Styles Of The Rich and Famous can kiss our ass.

We have nothing in common with Mad About You, bulimic Barbie doll pop stars, or those nauseating yuppies on Friends.

Our Friends have never seen the inside of a Manhattan apartment that big, have you?

Our lives are less likely to be Touched By An Angel than, by a thirty day eviction notice from landlords so greedy they should be lynched.

Bulldozing us from the cities we give life to in the first place, so more dot com cowboys can seize our homes and go around spittin' money in everyone else's face.

We don't care who wins on Survivor,
We care about Surviving.
Corporate sponsored
Global warming.

And an ozone turned into swiss cheese that you won't even admit is a problem.

We don't care who's fucking whom on Malrose's Place or even in The West Wing. We know the real scandals include; four outta five Americans deliberately locked out of your mirage of an economic boom.

As Michael Franti put it, "I don't care who they're screwin' in private. I wanna know who they're screwin' in public."

E.R..

Chicago Hope.

Gosh, I'm so touched.

What about all the people turned away from real E.R.s, and can't see a doctor at all cuz they can't afford any insurance?

We know Real World is not the Real World!

I recently met a women named Irean McGee, who quit this show and said, "not even the house was Real." The fridges were all filled to the brim with Valasic pickles delivered daily by the crate load along with gallons of Nantucket Nector. If she drank anything else, the crew took it from her hand and made sure the Nantucket Nector label was facing the camera instead. When she walked out, another guy (in the cast of Real World) hit her. And the camera crew did nothing.

'Who cares if she's in danger?'

'We're out-scooping Jerry Springer!'

When she spoke-out, Mtv sued her. And Entertainment Weekly rated Irean getting smash mouthed the forty seventh most interesting event on t.v. that whole year.

C'mon, Limptv. As far as I'm concerned Beavis and Butthead and Dora are the only good things you ever did. But can't you think of a better way to raise audience awareness of domestic violence than to make it look cool?

Home Improvement!

How about it?

Throw the t.v. out the window!

No...

Not quite.

We don't hate the media, we've become the media.

What responsible use of the internet, pyrite radio, and micro-power, punk and hip-hop nation, independent music publishing, film, and now, television have accomplished so far is only the tip of the ice berg.

Or is it a mushroom cloud?

More and more often the Camcorder Truth Jihad will catch you beating innocent people for marching peacefully or driving while black.

Illuminate your blow-jobs! Not from interns, but from money bags!

They make cameras as small as grasshoppers now. And they will slip inside your prisons, toxic dumps and sweat-shops, all the way up to your boardrooms. We will bring people together against your whole motherfuckin' agenda because you have given Earth's life forms nowhere else to go.

Giving a damn about the world around us and doing something about it is not an Anti Grode Show.

We demand fair and more accurate balanced news coverage. Real people with real lives in your dramas and on your talk shows. And if we don't get it, ...

*heh.. heh.. heh..*

... ,we'll make it ourselves!!

We know we can do better than you. And as King George Dubya Bush the second once said, "we will, as the World Turns our Guiding Light will be to take back and improve the Days Of Our Lives, knowing each One Life to Live matters."

Welcome to our Spin City. Little Homeless Shelter on the Prairie. Survivor; where contestants try to feed their families on a skin flint Bush-Cheney welfare check. Mary Tyler Moore stuck in endless dead-end temp jobs with no time off or benefits at all.

We got all kinds of cures for your sitcoms, so boring that they're not even funny any more.

And Letterman's very existence, and Third product placement From The Sun.

We'll exile Collin Powell to the Munsters! George C. Ashcroft and Saddam Hussein are the new cast of Green Acres! E.R. goes to Somalia while Bay Watch goes to Burma!
Oprah models swimsuits on location at super-fund sights.

You give us the World's Wildest Police Chases. We'll give you the World's Wildest Police Brutality Cases! Nash Bridges finally busts Willie Brown! Cigarette Man in the X Files turns out to be Dian Feinstein!

And, behind the scenes, the cause of it all, is Paul from the Diamond Center!!

Our idea of the World's Funniest home videos is the Fortune Five Hundred sinking into the sea! You push game shows called Greed and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. How about Who Wants to Jail a Millionaire?!

Storm the gates of the bestial of the wonderful world of Disney. The vampire we are out to slay is you!

Turn AOL Time Warner over to Ad Busters! Hand the reins of CNN to me! Replace Rupert Murdock with Marilyn Manson!

We are every where and we won't go away! We will not go quietly and shut up and shop. We will boycott you and boycott your sponsors, sabotage them at work, and raise our kids unafraid to show that they're smart enough to see through the pop junk you puke out.

Not an icon to stir them.

Not even Mickey Mouse.

Earth: The Final Conflict.

Corporations vs. life itself, and Time is running out. But we're not running, are we?

To the Hilton! Where the national association of lousy broadcasters is trashing Marconi's name by giving out Marconi awards as we speak!

Charge!!

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