Heh heh heh -- Final End

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Date Posted: 23:32:05 06/08/02 Sat
Author: Lona
Subject: Heh heh heh
In reply to: The Serpent 's message, "You'll like this new version, Lona!" on 10:03:43 06/08/02 Sat

You're right. I loved it.

:)

Ever heard "The Song of the Temperance Union"?

Here are a few verses you might like....

Temperance Union

We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band,
On the right side of temperance we do take our stand.
We don't use tobacco because we do think
That the people who use it are likely to drink.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never eat fruitcake because it has rum
And one little bite turns a man to a bum,
Can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never eat cookies, because they have yeast,
And one little bite turns a man to a beast.
Can you imagine such a sorry disgrace,
As a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never drink Pepsi, it's made from cocaine,
And you might as well shoot it right into your vein.
Oh, can you imagine a sorrier bind,
Than rotting your teeth while blowing your mind?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never drop tea, 'cause it comes from a pot,
And that could be evil as likely as not,
We don't mind the taste, but it's really bad news,
To get busted for holding what Tom Lipton brews.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We don't step on grapes because that's making wine,
And one single stomp turns a man to a swine.
Can you imagine a fouler defeat,
Than a man getting stonkered by licking his feet?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

Shun girls who are witty and pretty and kind,
There's nothing like love for corrupting your mind.
At least in our circle it just isn't done,
Our kids are adopted; we never have fun.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never eat jelly, they make it with wine,
And one little bite turns a man to a swine.
Can't you envision, in Hell he will roast,
That teen-ager drunk on his jelly and toast?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never drink water, they mix it with gin
Just one little sip and a man starts to grin
Oh, can you imagine a sillier clunk
Than a man swigging water until he's geshtunk?

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never give backrubs, we think they're a crime,
And lower and lower you'll sink every time.
An alcohol backrub's a terrible sin.
Just think of the liquor absorbed thru the skin.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We never sing folksongs, they're evil and lewd.
They celebrate Sin, and their language is crude.
Their language is shocking, their politics vile,
And their grammar and rhetoric ain't got no style.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band.
On the right side of Temperance we do take our stand.
We masturbate daily because we do think
That once you start screwing, you're likely to drink!

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The song of the Temperance Union.

So drinking and eating and loving, you see,
Are bound to destroy spi-ri-tu-al-i-ty.
Our tastes are austere, and our virtue is sure.
We don't have much fun, but, by golly, we're pure.

Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum,
Away, away with rum by gum,
The.
Song.
Of.
The.
Temperance.
Union!

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Replies:

HA HA HA -- Sue da babe, 13:25:26 06/10/02 Mon