Dear Abby -- Final End

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Date Posted: 04:53:18 05/04/02 Sat
Author: The Serpent
Subject:

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, I've got a problem.

I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It's important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just can't afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. I just mix in the Tuna Helper, and ta-da!

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what's my secret. Abby, I think they're getting suspicious.

My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps asking, "Where's all the meat? You know, the red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge."

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do I tell my family?

DEAR BUSHOMICS VICTIM:

Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's blessed, and everything should be just fine.

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Replies:

Re: Dear Abby -- Neuminas, 05:03:52 05/04/02 Sat
- Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- The Serpent, 05:25:15 05/04/02 Sat
  - Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- Neuminas, 19:17:56 05/04/02 Sat
    - Re: I am Catholic. -- The Serpent, 13:35:48 05/06/02 Mon
  - Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- sue da babe, 00:02:48 05/05/02 Sun
    - Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- Noomy, 05:43:46 05/05/02 Sun
      - Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- sue da babe, 13:28:47 05/06/02 Mon
        Re: Interesting interpretation, and you're up early! -- Noomy, 16:05:29 05/09/02 Thu
Re: Dear Abby -- sue da babe, 13:19:34 05/06/02 Mon
- Re: Dear Abby -- sue da babe, 13:32:14 05/06/02 Mon
  - Re: At least your post rhymed. -- The Serpent, 14:14:48 05/06/02 Mon
    - Re: At least your post rhymed. -- sue da babe, 19:32:18 05/06/02 Mon