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Tuesday, May 07, 19:46:30Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1[2]345678910 ]
Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Leah
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Date Posted: 02/20/09 7:17pm
In reply to: Su 's message, "Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help" on 02/19/09 7:27am

Hi Su I was just looking in here because I myself have posting up here. First thing I want to say is please just breathe right now...take a second and inhale big and deep.

This is tough and you have the answer already,it's just so hard to see it. You need to look past this guy....and that's hard to do because he is such a huge part of your life...you know what will be an even bigger part of your life this baby!

Girl I have gone through every range of emotion and I know first hand that it is tough....especially when you are putting someone else's wants in front of yours. You see what you are leaving out here is that this baby is half his he donated half the DNA and so did you...so love this baby!

No it won't be easy,but there are people who will help you and love you all the way through this and beyond. Keep talking it out,the ladies here can put you in contact with some great people who can help you. They can help you with housing and things. If you can't parent this baby if you feel there is no way,there is adoption....that's also something you could think about.

Keep your head held high and reach out to the things and around you that bring you joy...take comfort in them. You have more control here than you realize...recognize the power to love yourself. Keep talking you are loved!

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 02/21/09 3:37am

Su,

I know your mother has said she'd kick you out if you have this baby, but it's hard to imagine a grandmother who would do that once they see and hold their little grandchild. So, like Pat said, this time is a crucial time for you to protect yourself and your little one. After he or she comes into the world, it is likely your mother's attitude will change and maybe even your boyfriend's. But, neither of those truly matter in the long run. What matters is that you know in your heart that you love and cherish this little one, even though he or she is very tiny right now. At this moment, you are the only one who can protect your child's life, and you must do it for your child's sake and for your sake. I hear in your post how connected you are to this little one already. One of the main indicators of whether or not a woman will regret an abortion is if she feeds pressured - either by the people around her or by her life circumstances - to have the abortion against the wishes of her heart. So, be strong and follow your heart. You will not regret it.

Sharon
[> [> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Kimi (Crying)
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Date Posted: 06/19/09 2:49pm

Hello,

I wish I could find this board. I wanted to keep my baby. But my mum used all her power on me to force what she wanted like su's mum. The father of the baby, never give me a time to discuss about my pregnancy. I was alone. I felt like I was alone on the earth.. My mum and the father of the baby never listened to how I didn't want to have the abortion. I managed to visit two organisation. First one- I found out that they are actually performing the abortion. Another one- they tried to tell me how abortion was risky for women's body. I didn't want to have the abortion so that I wanted to bring the father of the baby to there to change his mind. But he was furious at me visiting there.

Both of them tried really hard how keeping the baby was disadvantage.

I was having severe morning sickness. No one cared about this even my mum. I was so dizzy, stomach pain, not able to drink even some water, not able to eat almost all food, feeling nausea almost 24/7.

I had been anti-abortion belief until I got pregnant out of wedlock.

At the hospital, I was still trying to change the father of the baby's mind. I was pleading him to keep my baby..

I didn't know there was a help for me to keep the baby. Because I was oversea student and wasn't born in the country where I am living.

At the hospital, I felt that I wanted to see the baby so that I told my boyfriend about that but he said 'NO'.

I didn't listened to what I wanted and what I never wanted.

When I came out from my work, there was a protester in front of the next building. I was looking at the panel which they hold in their hands. I understand their belief as I had had the same opinion as them.

The facts of abortion is tragedy for the baby/babies and the mother. Both of them were abandoned from the ones who the mother of the baby loved. The mother of the baby and the baby were abandoned and not being loved from them.

There was no help for me even emotional support.
[> [> [> Subject: Re: Dear Kimi


Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 06/19/09 8:50pm

Dear Kimi,

My heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry that you had to experience this pain and feelings of abandonment. It saddens me to know that you are still being abandoned, because the people who wanted you to abort most likely don't understand your pain now. I hope you are a believer in God because He is the one who can help you with your pain. Go to Him, he will forgive you and give the strength to deal with your loss.

Post here as often as you want. And fell free to email me personally at bc300yds@hotmail.com.

Prayers are being sent your way.

Hugs,

Shellie
[> [> [> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 06/19/09 10:46pm

Dear Kimi,

My heart goes out to you. I am crying with you. The way everyone treated you was very unfair!

Thank you so much for telling us your story. We will be here, and we will stick with you while you work through this.

I am very aware that many women don't know about the help available. We are doing our best to make sure women know. And people will badger a woman, and take advantage of her when she is feeling weak.

I'll give you some information about morning sickness for the future. One of the best ways to deal with it is probably ginger tea. A woman can sip it. Also a woman should make sure she's getting enough protein, if she can keep food down. A good doctor can recommend medication. Also, some women find eating a couple of crackers before getting out of bed to be helpful. Some people have said eating watermelon helps.

There is no reason at all that you cannot remain against abortion. There are many women who have experienced abortion who are, and who try to help other women.

Go to God and tell Him that you are sorry for the part you played in this situation. But don't take the blame for the things other people did to you. You were coerced. That isn't your fault. But pray. God has already paid for your abortion, and His forgiveness is readily available to you.

Take one day at a time. You might find it helpful to read the Psalms. God loves you and so do we. You might try to go back to the place where you went before, where they told you abortion is dangerous. They may have a program to help people in your position. I'm a little concerned, however, because you said that this place tried to convince you having a baby was hard. That wasn't helpful. So if you need to go someplace else, please let us know!

If you're not getting through to your family, confront them if you have to. They should have helped you instead of abandoning you. I don't know what the relationship between you and them is like. But this relationship can also be healed. As for the father, do whatever you think is best. If you think it will be better to break up with him, then go ahead. He put you at risk in the first place. Allow yourself to feel anger at how you were treated, and allow yourself to grieve. You might find it helpful to prepare a memorial for your baby. You can plant a tree, name your baby, or put up a page on a web site.

After awhile, it will be best for your peace of mind if you forgive the people who forced you. You won't want to. Your emotions will get in the way. But forgiveness isn't an emotion. It's a decision. It's the decision to refrain from holding what they did to you against them. Let it go. God will help. You might tell God that you don't want to forgive them, and He will have to help you. He will.

I pray that God will heal you emotionally and spiritually. We will be here for you. Please take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Pat



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