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Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help Author: Melanie [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 02/23/09 12:45am In reply to: Su 's message, "Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help" on 02/22/09 11:41am Su, IT's funny, but a there are times in my daughter's life when she has wanted so badly to be independent on her own that she has rushed into things only to make herself more dependent than ever. If you know this will affect you in such a way, could this not be the case in your situation? It's quite obvious this is not what you want, and you do have a choice. You can be stronger, you just have to do it. Instead of an appointment for an abortion why not make an appointment for an agency that will help you plan for your children? Tell them your concerns and ask them if they CAN plan to help you leave your mom's in the near future with two children. The nice thing about pregnancy lasting nine months is that you do have time to plan ahead. To be honest, I never noticed that having one more child made a huge difference for us financially until a bit down the road. If you can leave with one, you can probably leave with two. Just becuase you have an appointment for an abortion does not mean you are obligated to go. Even if you actually went, it does not mean you are obligated to go through with it. You DO have a choice and you can have a change of heart. In your case where just thinking about it is as painful as it seems to be for you, then I really urge you to reconsider or at least allow yourself the luxury of seeing what other help there is out there and plans you can make with both of your children before you do something that is so drastic and irreversible. It will be a whole lot easier for you to live with. You and your daughter deserve that much. As for your mother and your boyfriend their reactions are not terribly uncommon. Guys generally will come around or just leave entirely. More often than not, parents will come around. The best way to stop the pressure is to just hold firm and be resolute. The threats are the worst when you are uncertain. I have known several people who's parents threatened to disown their children if they didn't abort. They didn't. They loved their grandchildren. In one case, the mother was very adamant about disowning her daughter for not aborting. I went over to visit her and the mother was at her apartment holding the baby when I got there. LOL [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help Author: Leah [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02/23/09 4:02pm I get where you are coming from,I really really do.....honestly though it sounds now as you are wanting to have an abortion to get over this guy. You won't you will only think about him even more,because you will be thinking about the baby even more I promise,I have had an abortion. I feel for you,but is this really what you want to do? You have clearly stated it is not. You see there never is a baby that "could have been" there IS a baby,regardless of what you do that baby will ALWAYS have been here. I am going to share something that up to this point I have not shared before,I too had an appointment for an abortion,I am 20 weeks now. I went to the appointment I went in the room I got up on the table,I let the doc put in the lameneria tents(something used to dialate the cervix in later abortions) As soon as he did this he left and I broke down I knew then it was not right,his nurse came in and told me he could come back and remove them (they had only been in about 20 minutes) he did and he was angry with me for wasting his time!!!!! Yet he was there to support my right to choose??? I CHOSE to change my mind! I was lucky because not enough damage was done and my child is ok and so am I. When you go it will be permanent. Please give yourself a bit more time to make sure......I fear for you because of your emotional state right now. Please at least call a center and talk to someone even if you do go please still call! You need an ear who will listen,keep talking ok,keep posting,do what you gotta do....I am worried for you!