Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 03/22/09 7:39pm
Hello, lost,
I can think of one good reason not to have an abortion. Your boyfriend is the one who needs "aborting", not your baby! Your baby hasn't done anything to you (or anyone else). Your baby is also yours, not just his. I think you should get him out of your life. In addition to all the things you told us, he has taken advantage of you. He goes to jail in 2 weeks. That's a good time to get him out of your life. Just quietly turn away from him.
I agree with you. He's not fit to raise a child. Not now, anyway. He could always turn over a new leaf, but he will have to decide that, and we have to take where he is right now.
As for you not wanting to have kids now, you don't necessarily have to raise this child. You can decide about that. But abortion is forever. Once you have an abortion, you no longer have any choices at all.
I know a woman who was absolutely positive she never wanted children. She wanted an abortion. Some of us tried to talk her out of it. She had a second trimester abortion, under general anesthetic. Afterwards, she came back to talk to us, and we supported her. Some of us even helped her out. One night, she became suicidal. Two of us stayed up all night talking to her by exchanging messages, to keep her from doing it. She also asked at one point if she would be considered to have been a mother, and we assured her she would. She became suicidal one other time that I know about. The risk of suicide is about 6 times after abortion, compared to what it would be if a woman had carried to term. For your own self preservation, and because abortion IS dangerous, don't risk your own life. It's not worth it. The woman and I have kept in touch. It's been several years. One time, she wrote me, a woman at work was considering abortion. She said, PLEASE talk her out of it. My abortion ruined my life.
That's what you are looking at. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not (and most women aren't), you and your baby bonded in the first couple of days after conception. It was hormonal communication between you that stopped your periods. Your baby sends stem cells into your blood stream, and some of them go to your brain and stay there. You may be able to destroy your baby, but your heart will never forget.
Will you let the violence of your boyfriend cause you to do harm to your baby? Your baby is depending on you for your protection. You can make good come from his evil. You can't do anything about his evil, but you can do something to prevent yourself from following in his footsteps. Like I said, you don't have to RAISE your baby. But abortion is forever. You can't take it back. And so many women live to regret their abortions. I don't want to see you in that position.
Even though your boyfriend has expressed the desire that you not have an abortion, it isn't his say. It's your decision alone. And be sure you don't do it just to spite him. That would be the silliest reason of all.
Before you do anything, go look at an ultrasound. There are many things you will find out after it is too late. Don't let your baby's existence be one of them. You can find someone who will do a free ultrasound for you by going here:
pregnancycenters.org
Have I given you at least one reason not to have an abortion? I certainly hope so. We care about you and your baby, and we will be praying for you both.
Hugs,
Pat
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i really need advice